Most of us believe a lot of cultural myths about successful relationships. One of the most damaging is a myth that one of my favorite speakers calls the ‘Right Person Myth’. This myth holds to the idea that when we meet the right person, everything will be alright. For example we subconsciously think, ‘I don’t need to practice patience because when I meet the right person they will be so great and I won’t ever get annoyed’, or ‘I don’t need to practice forgiveness because when I meet the right person they will be so awesome they won’t ever wrong me and I won’t ever need to forgive them’.
A problem arises when you find that person has been thinking the same thing about you. We all know we are not perfect and that we will disappoint our significant other if they have believed the ‘Right Person Myth’. Maybe the best way to fight the inevitable disappointment that this thinking brings is to try to better ourselves rather than rely completely on the other person’s wonderfulness. Imagine that amazing guy or girl. Do you embody the kind of integrity that he is looking for? Are you making the kind of choices her ideal person would be making? Know the kind of partner you want and don’t settle for anything less. Continue working on becoming the type of person that will attract that type of guy or girl while also seeking for a person with good character.
This doesn’t mean being fake. It means doing the honest hard work of personal change. We need to stop depending on destiny and take control of ourselves and our relationships. Be the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for.
Guest post by Esther B.
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