A lot of individuals and couples facing an unexpected pregnancy feel uneasy about creating an adoption plan, or even considering this possibility. Can you relate? Perhaps you’re in the process of thinking through your pregnancy options, and you’re confident at this stage that parenting isn’t the right path for you. That basically leaves two alternatives: abortion and adoption. Maybe you’re leaning toward ending the pregnancy because you believe adoption would be too hard an experience to endure. You’d be right that creating and following through with an adoption plan is often a very difficult choice. This journey would involve making the personal sacrifice of carrying to term and then placing full responsibility for long term care in someone else’s hands. Those are all very weighty possibilities to consider.
However, it’s important to recognize that what looks like the path of least resistance may not be. The future can be so unpredictable. And the path of least resistance isn’t necessarily the best path for you. Facing significant crossroads in life, there are times when every option is hard for different and complex reasons. This may be one of those times. But your story doesn’t end there. You have unique qualities and strengths that can help you move forward with courage and autonomy. Accessing reliable information about your pregnancy and learning about all your options and resources are excellent ways to own this decision and lean into your most positive outcome.
Avenue Women’s Center exists to support and empower persons navigating an unexpected pregnancy. We provide free early pregnancy services like medical-grade pregnancy tests and options consultations (including information about abortion & adoption), because nobody should have to make a pregnancy decision without feeling fully informed.
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Control and Adoption Planning
People often feel a sense of stigma about adoption because this path involves surrendering control- perhaps more than abortion or parenting. Of course, it’s true that creating an adoption plan would entail a lot of “letting go.” And for many people, that’s a very difficult reality to face. Hesitancy to relinquish control may or may not be about a person’s own will for their life. Some individuals are afraid the baby wouldn’t have a positive future or be properly cared for if they chose adoption. Culture and history sometimes reinforce this kind of view. Keep in mind, not having control is a part of life. No parent can fully determine their child’s future.
Modern adoption plans offer birth parents a lot more autonomy and influence than you may realize. Birth parents can choose the adoptive family, allowing them to influence what kind of environment the baby would grow up in. It’s possible to select an adoptive family with values and beliefs like yours, who would love the baby well. As for the birth parents’ ongoing involvement, there are a variety of options to consider: open, semi-open, and closed adoption. You get to decide whether or not to participate in the child’s future, and to what extent you may (or may not) wish to be involved. You have time to think this over as you customize your adoption plan, and you don’t have to navigate the process on your own. Adoption agencies may offer practical, supportive resources to empower and encourage you all along the way, whether your partner or family supports your decision or not.
Considering All Your Options
Your options of abortion, adoption, and parenting would all come with unique challenges. Maybe your best approach is to learn about each of them. You have nothing to lose and something to gain by moving toward your decision with a more informed perspective. Perhaps abortion is at the top of your list today. Even if that’s the option you decide to pursue, you may be stepping into that choice with greater clarity. Why? Because you’ll always be able to look back on this time knowing you had the facts you needed to make an informed decision. You won’t have to question if knowing more about a different pregnancy option would have led you down another road.
Seeking to understand options you’re less likely to choose can be surprisingly enlightening. You may discover something that makes a difference.
Our team at Avenue understands what a difficult task it is to face your pregnancy options and figure out which one to pursue. We’re here to help by providing no-cost early pregnancy services and emotional support in the days ahead. You’re not alone. We offer a safe, relaxing space to process your circumstances while you learn and consider what’s next.
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The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.