Schedule Today

Considering Abortion Because He Doesn’t Want Kids

Are you navigating an unexpected pregnancy and considering your option of abortion?  Maybe you’re contemplating this path because your partner doesn’t want kids.  If this is true for you, there’s a strong possibility that he’s aware of your pregnancy and hasn’t been supportive of your alternatives (adoption and parenting).  Or, maybe you haven’t discussed this yet.  Maybe you just know from past conversations that he isn’t looking to become a dad.  Either way, these circumstances probably feel very confusing… especially if you sense that the two of you aren’t on the same page about having (or not having) kids.

If managing an unexpected pregnancy with your partner hasn’t been the smooth process you’d hoped it would be, you’re in good company!  Many women have a rough time navigating this.  Many end up making their pregnancy decisions based on their partners’ desires.  If it feels like you’re being pulled in this direction, know that there’s a better way.  It’s possible to honor your partner while exploring and embracing the outcome that’s truly best for you.  Avenue Women’s Center is here to support you in your own process of figuring this out.

Learn more about Avenue and our free early pregnancy services!  We’re a limited medical clinic that’s been providing first-step pregnancy support in Chicagoland for over 40 years!

Points to Reflect on Before You Decide

Chances are, your partner’s feelings and opinions are really important to you.  That’s understandable (and generally healthy)!  If you’re married or in a committed relationship, you may have a particularly strong desire to reach an agreement with him.  However, there are a few critical points that you need to be mindful of as you engage in your decision-making process.  Give these some careful consideration before you move forward!

  • A pregnancy decision belongs to the person who’s carrying the pregnancy. It really is vital for this pregnancy decision to come from you.  As the person who’s carrying the pregnancy, you’re best equipped to identify the best path forward.  You’ll also experience your pregnancy outcome in a different and likely more powerful way than your partner, no matter how strongly he may be impacted.  That being said, listen to your gut as you navigate your decision-making process.  Ensure that your choice for abortion, adoption, or parenting aligns with your values, beliefs, and desires.
  • Your partner has the autonomy to respond to your pregnancy decision in his own way. You have autonomy over your own pregnancy decision, and he has autonomy over his response.  If both of you approach the pregnancy journey with this in mind, you may have an easier time setting healthy boundaries for yourselves and the relationship.  If you decide to keep the pregnancy, your partner’s response may not be quite what you’d hoped for.  His process of accepting your decision may come gradually.  That’s okay.  Let him know that you understand.  He may feel less pressure to react a certain way, and therefore more open to the outcome that you deem best.
  • Communication is powerful. Have a heart-to-heart with your partner.  Seriously consider telling your partner about your pregnancy if you haven’t already.   Let him know how you feel about the pregnancy and your pregnancy options, and where you think these feelings are coming from.  Offer him an opportunity to share his perspective, knowing that he has his own experiences and hopes that are influencing his reaction.  You may not reach an agreement.  But by respectfully listening to each other, you’ll build bridges of empathy and understanding.

Being like-minded with your partner about a pregnancy outcome may seem ideal, but if you’re not fully on board in your own heart and mind, there’s no real agreement.  Your partner’s desires for the future may be important to you.  However, they’re not necessarily a strong foundation to build your pregnancy decision upon.  You’re fully capable of identifying your own best path forward.  Our caring, expert staff at Avenue Women’s Center would love to partner with you in that process by providing reliable information and unconditional support.

Call, text, chat, or email to learn more about Avenue and our confidential services!  We provide free medical-grade pregnancy tests, options consultations, limited medical ultrasounds, and more!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.