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Considering Abortion Because the Father Lives Out of State

Navigating an unexpected pregnancy alongside a partner can be challenging, even within the context of a “traditional” relationship.  But what if he lives out of state?  If this describes your situation, you may be in a long-distance relationship or pregnant by someone you recently met while traveling.  Either way, it sounds like you’re probably feeling apprehensive about the physical distance between you and your partner.  Maybe you’re having thoughts like, “I can’t manage this pregnancy without him close by,” or, “If I did choose to parent, I’d want a present father for my child.”  You’re facing a challenging set of circumstances.  But your partner’s distance doesn’t make you any less capable.  It’s completely possible to discover a pregnancy outcome you feel good about, regardless of the potential hurdles that lay ahead.

At Avenue Women’s Center, we believe in equipping women to make well-informed pregnancy decisions with confidence.  We strive to help them accomplish this by providing accurate information on all their options, in addition to free early pregnancy services, so they feel empowered to discover the path that’s right for them.  If you’re coping with an unexpected pregnancy today, our expert staff at Avenue is here for you.  We’re fully committed to offering first-step pregnancy support with excellence and compassion.

Learn more about Avenue here!

A Broader Approach

Anyone managing an unexpected pregnancy has three pregnancy options available to her: abortion, adoption, and parenting.  Some people feel confident that abortion is simply the right move for them.  Terminating the pregnancy also tends to be one path that many women consider when they feel like they’re lacking the capabilities, resources, or support for any other option.  If you feel unsure about getting an abortion, but you believe that you need to or ought to end the pregnancy because of something that’s missing in your life, maybe it’s time to pause and take a broader approach to your decision-making process.

Factors to Consider

It’s important to consider a variety of factors that may influence a choice for abortion, adoption, or parenting.  A long-distance relationship with your partner would probably present some challenges if you chose to continue the pregnancy.  Abortion would come with potential challenges too.  Every pregnancy option carries its own set of possible risks and benefits.  No matter which way you’re leaning, be sure to focus on all these components to arrive at a well-rounded, thoughtful conclusion:

  • Personal strengths. Everybody has them.  What are yours, and how can they help you embrace the pregnancy option that feels like the best fit for you?
  • Supportive resources. Who’s in your corner?  Your supportive resources may be people or organizations in your community that provide practical and/or emotional support.
  • Values and beliefs. What are your most important values and most firmly held beliefs?  How do these relate to your pregnancy decision?  Which option best aligns with them?
  • Desires and instincts. Which pregnancy option(s) do feel most naturally drawn to?
  • Challenges/risks and benefits. These matter a lot, but they’re not necessarily going to be the be-all and end-all of your pregnancy decision.

Getting the Facts

While you’re thinking over these different factors, you can also gather concrete facts to find clarity.  Here is some information that can be easily accessible and highly relevant to a choice for abortion, adoption, or parenting:

  • The status of your pregnancy. How far along is the pregnancy?  Is the pregnancy located in the uterus and is it capable of continuing on its own?  Information about your unique pregnancy could reveal what abortion option(s) you’re eligible for, whether your safety is at risk, and whether you’re likely to miscarry.  It may also be wise to speak with a doctor to further assess which pregnancy option(s) would be safe and appropriate at this time.
  • The ins and outs of your pregnancy options. What processes and risks would be involved with each of your pregnancy options?  It can be highly beneficial to speak with someone who’s caring and knowledgeable on this subject.
  • The resources that are available to you. Many communities have programs meant to help people in challenging circumstances access health care, financial support, housing, material goods, and more.

When contemplating the “because” behind your pregnancy decision, remember that the future can be unpredictable.  Circumstances that seem very difficult may change or be overcome.  Although much of what you’re experiencing right now is beyond your control, there are clear steps you can take to own this pregnancy decision and make sure it’s the right one for you.  At Avenue, it’s our goal to help you start that journey will all the information and support you need.  We promise you’ll be met with warmth and compassion when you reach out.

Contact Avenue Women’s Center to learn more and schedule a visit at one of our six limited medical clinics!  We’ve been faithfully serving women from our own Chicagoland community and beyond since 1981!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.