Relationship dynamics are often tricky to navigate, much less when an unexpected pregnancy is involved. Getting a positive pregnancy test result may have served as a catalyst for re-evaluating your relationship with your significant other. Regardless of how long you’ve been together, you’re probably worried about your partner’s feelings surrounding the pregnancy. Perhaps you’re concerned that he would feel obligated to stay in the relationship if you chose to parent. Abortion might seem like the best way to avoid putting your partner in this position. But is that true? All of this can be confusing and scary to grapple with. It’s hard to know what to do next when an unexpected pregnancy is impacting the outcome of your relationship, and your relationship is impacting your decision-making process.
Chances are, this has been a very vulnerable time for you. An unexpected pregnancy can be extremely difficult to absorb, and it’s not uncommon for a pregnant woman to experience conflicting feelings about her situation. If you’re questioning the future of your relationship on top of this, you’re probably feeling overwhelmed in a way that’s difficult to even express. Avenue Women’s Center is here for you. We offer free services and confidential support at five Chicagoland locations. Our caring staff can help you learn about your abortion options and alternatives within a safe and nonjudgmental environment.
Call, chat, email, or text to schedule an appointment today! We’re located in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, West Chicago, and Wood Dale, Illinois.
Embracing Your Autonomy, While He Embraces His
Your anxiety about the possible influence of your decision on your partner probably comes from a place of concern for his well-being. It’s probably safe to say that you want him to stay because he genuinely wants to be with you, not because he feels obligated. That’s healthy! Just keep in mind that, unless you’re manipulating him through threats or coercion, you’re not forcing him to do anything at all. You have the innate freedom and responsibility to make the choice that you believe is best for you, and your partner has the freedom to respond as he chooses. Don’t take on the burden of choosing for your partner’s sake. Figuring out which pregnancy outcome is right for you can be difficult enough. Besides, it’s impossible to know the impact that any of your options would have on your relationship, and making a decision for your partner instead of yourself could leave you vulnerable to resentment if things don’t work out as expected.
Talking It Through
It’s possible that you and your partner haven’t talked yet about where your relationship may be going long-term, but the discovery that you’re pregnant has pushed the conversation out into the open. This issue of your pregnancy probably feels like an intimidating topic to approach with him, even if you’re in a healthy and committed relationship. However, a respectful dialogue could be very beneficial. Discussing your feelings and expectations will give both of you key insight into the other person’s perspective. If you feel that your partner is trustworthy, be transparent about your concerns (like the possibility of him feeling “forced” to stay) while reinforcing your need to make your own best decision. You won’t know for sure where your partner’s head is at until you ask. It’s important to have all the facts straight before making a significant decision like this one.
If you’re finding it hard to have this discussion with your partner (or even if this conversation is going well), consider reaching out for additional support. It can be helpful to talk with a trusted person and gather more information regarding all of your pregnancy options before moving forward with a decision. You may want to connect with a close friend, a caring family member, or a mentor. You could also schedule an appointment with a counselor, a spiritual leader, or a pregnancy consultant. Think about inviting your partner to come with you if both of you feel comfortable with this.
Next Steps in a Pregnancy Decision
As you explore abortion options and costs, it’s important to confirm your pregnancy is viable. A non-viable pregnancy may not require an abortion. An ultrasound can also detect early risks like miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, which need prompt care. Avenue Women’s Center offers free limited medical ultrasounds to provide this vital information. Learning all you can about your circumstances will help you create a plan with confidence.
You may have more time than you think to consider your options. While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, the decision should be yours. Think about how life might look in the future and whether to involve your partner now. Avenue Women’s Center is here to support you and provide the information you need to move forward. This may seem like a lot to take in, but once you feel confident that you’ve armed yourself with any necessary knowledge, your best path forward (for your relationship and this pregnancy) may become clearer.
Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule your free and confidential appointment! We offer limited medical support at five clinics in Chicagoland, Illinois.
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.