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Considering Abortion: “I’m Afraid to Have a Certain Gender”

There are all kinds of scenarios in which a woman may have fears about the gender of her pregnancy.  This can be a real concern for any woman, regardless of her background or where she’s located.  Have you been feeling anxious about the sex of your pregnancy?  Maybe this pregnancy was unexpected, and abortion is an option you’re considering.  Dread of a specific gender may be playing a critical role in your decision-making process.  Or, perhaps it’s one of many reasons why abortion is on the table.  No matter what unique circumstances are part of your story, Avenue Women’s Center has your back.

An unexpected pregnancy is a significant experience that can trigger anxiety for many different reasons.  Every situation is complex and one-of-a-kind.  That’s one of many reasons why seeking support is an important aspect of any woman’s pregnancy journey.  Education and encouragement could go a long way in helping you cope with your unique worries and find clarity.  At Avenue, we offer this to every woman who walks through our doors or connects with us virtually.

Explore our “About” page to learn more about Avenue Women’s Center!  If you’re looking for free first-step pregnancy services and caring support, reaching out to us would be a great next step.

Your Circumstances May be Complex, But There’s Hope

Where do you think your fear may be coming from?  There are a lot of valid possibilities.  Maybe you’ve had a traumatic experience that’s affected the way you view males and females.  Or, you’re terrified certain qualities would be passed down that you or the father possess.  Perhaps gender identity has been difficult to navigate in your own life, and you wouldn’t want a child to deal with anxiety or confusion that’s similar to what you’ve experienced.  Maybe you simply feel more comfortable with, or drawn to, people of a certain gender.  Or, your leanings have something to do with your cultural heritage.  Do you believe your apprehension may relate to your past or someone who’s hurt you?  If so, you’re probably dealing with some particularly complex circumstances and feelings as you consider your best pregnancy outcome.  Avenue is here to offer practical and emotional support, no matter what you’ve been through or where your path is leading now.  We’d like to offer a simple reminder:  a hard and complicated past may be impacting you significantly, but it doesn’t have to determine how your story continues to unfold.

Making an Empowered Pregnancy Decision

Gender is one aspect of this pregnancy that’s beyond your control when conception happens naturally (although there are different opinions on this).  Many characteristics of this pregnancy are.  Accepting this is part of the pregnancy experience.  However, something you can do to feel empowered in your pregnancy decision is to evaluate all the factors you do have influence over.  A choice for abortion, adoption, or parenting is yours to make, but there are many steps you can take beforehand to inform and equip yourself.

You can learn what each of your options involves and get an ultrasound to assess the health of the pregnancy.  A scan can determine gestational age (how far along you are), the probability of miscarriage, and possible complications like an ectopic pregnancy (a pregnancy located outside the uterus).  Some conditions, like an ectopic pregnancy, pose a high risk to the woman and require quick medical intervention.  So, getting a scan may be the best step you can take to protect your own health and wellness.

Having an ultrasound is also a common way to learn the gender.  If you are fourteen or more weeks into your pregnancy, the professional completing your scan may be able to see whether you’re pregnant with a boy or a girl.  However, if you feel an urge to terminate based on the gender, remember that scans aren’t one hundred percent accurate.  The genitals aren’t always visible, depending on the position of the pregnancy.

Accessing the Support You Need

If your fears are being influenced by a complex past, it may be time to pause and process the emotions surrounding this pregnancy.  Our pregnancy consultants at Avenue Women’s Center are here to listen and encourage.  If you need to speak with another professional, like a mental health counselor, we’d love to help by providing a referral.  There’s never any shame in reaching out for support.  Doing so will very likely empower you to make this pregnancy decision with greater clarity and insight!

Although you can’t control some aspects of this pregnancy, you do have the ability to navigate your unique situation, make a confident pregnancy decision, and continue to live your best life.  Remember that past struggles and present anxiety don’t dictate the future.  And if you choose to parent, you’ll be well-positioned to have a positive influence.  Our expert team at Avenue is available to continue this journey by your side, one step at a time.  Our no-cost services include medical-grade pregnancy tests, limited medical ultrasounds, options consultations, and more!

Schedule an appointment today at one of our six limited medical clinics in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, Naperville, West Chicago, or Wood Dale, Illinois!



Healthline.  (2020, January).  How Soon Can You Find Out the Sex of Your Baby?  Retrieved from:

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.