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Planning to be a Mom - Just Not Now

If you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, you might be wondering if you’ll be able to handle a pregnancy at this point. Is this a “perfect time” to be pregnant? Some might answer yes if all the “right” pieces of life are fitting into place: the right age, the right partner, the right income, and the right home. But what if you have all the “right” pieces of life’s puzzle put together and a pregnancy still catches you off guard? Or what if an unexpected pregnancy comes at what feels like the worst possible moment in life? Life is often not a perfect mixture, so how can you tell if now is the time to continue an unexpected pregnancy?

An unexpected pregnancy decision can be tough to handle if you’re feeling uncertain about your options. Avenue Women’s Center can be the first step you take in making your decision with our free pregnancy services in the DuPage County area. At each of our five locations you can confirm your pregnancy with a medical-grade pregnancy test, address your concerns in a confidential and private pregnancy consultation, and learn the viability of your pregnancy with a limited ultrasound. Call, text, chat, or email us today and learn more about how our caring and nonjudgmental client consultants can help you face this unexpected pregnancy.

Maybe you eventually want to become pregnant—just not now. It’s completely normal if you aren’t thrilled about being pregnant right away. It takes some time to cope with sudden news. A lot of unexpectedly pregnant women experience conflicting emotions, as moments of anxiety, fear, and self-disappointment mixed with joy, excitement, or hope. You might wonder if you’re capable of handling this pregnancy right now, and possibly worrying about how it could change everything in your life. Allow your feelings to come naturally without judging yourself while also paying attention to what these conflicting feelings could be telling you. Examining how you feel and why could be helpful in determining your pregnancy decision—and possibly even redefine what the “right” time for a pregnancy means to you.

Start by asking yourself a tough, but important question: What is preventing you from feeling ready right now? Acknowledge your concerns about possibly becoming pregnant before you planned. Make a list of obstacles and brainstorm possible solutions. What we think would make our life just right often shifts over time as our hopes and dreams evolve with us. What seems like the right time to become pregnant might also shift, so it’s important to think from a “future you” view. If pregnancy seems impossible right now, what are your other options and how could each affect you later in life?

If you have a long list of obstacles, are there resources and support to help you overcome them? Talk with a trusted person about your concerns—perhaps a close friend or relative, your partner, or a member of your faith background. Gaining support from those closest to you can be very important in handling an unexpected pregnancy, and possibly help you feel like you don’t have to face this on your own. If you don’t feel like you have supportive sources, try reaching out to a counselor or a pregnancy helpline that specializes in helping women with unexpected pregnancies. There are often several resources within your own community including housing, financial assistance, schooling financial aid, and material goods such as food and clothing.

A change of perspective might also be helpful when making an unexpected pregnancy decision. There’s no “right” way to feel about a pregnancy, but shifting how you think could shed light on your concerns. You can try to focus on the potential positives, giving yourself a break from some of your concerns in the process. It’s common for some women to question themselves, reflecting on how they could have prevented a pregnancy and disappointingly blaming themselves. Psychologist Lara Honos-Webb suggests one way to shift your thoughts about an unexpected pregnancy is to change the questions you ask yourself. Instead of the negative swirl of questions, she suggests instead to ask yourself, “Am I okay?” “What do I need?” and “How can I comfort myself?” as a way to possibly find solutions to your concerns. You might not have all the answers in this moment, but changing the way you approach your concerns could ease some of the fearful and overwhelming feelings.

The surprise of an unexpected pregnancy can be jolting if you don’t feel like you have all of the “right” pieces to life’s puzzle. Right now could feel like the worst time to be pregnant. At Avenue Women’s Center, we understand that each woman has their own unique concerns, and we offer compassionate and nonjudgmental support as you take the first steps of your pregnancy decision. When you make an appointment with us, our caring client consultants will take the time to listen and address your concerns in a free and private pregnancy consultation. Contact us today and learn more about your pregnancy options!


References:

  • Brusie, Chaunie, RN, BSN. EverydayFamily.com. (2018). 6 Ways to Cope With an Unplanned Pregnancy. Retrieved from: https://www.everydayfamily.com/slideshow/6-ways-cope-unplanned-pregnancy/.
  • FitPregnancy.com. (2018). Unexpectedly Expecting: Coping with a Surprise Pregnancy. Retrieved from: https://www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/getting-pregnant/unexpectedly-expecting.
The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.

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