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Considering Abortion: It Was Irresponsible to Get Pregnant

For some women experiencing an unexpected pregnancy, there may be feelings of shame and embarrassment. Depending on your personal beliefs, you may feel as if you’ve done something wrong by becoming pregnant. Or you may fear judgment from those around you. Maybe your life circumstances or the steps you’re taking to fulfilling your goals and dreams make you feel like it was “irresponsible” for you to get pregnant at this time. There are many factors that can play into your personal feelings regarding an unexpected pregnancy. Often these emotions can lead women to feel like abortion is the “responsible” choice. However, it’s important to take time to think through your options and identify what may be influencing your thoughts surrounding your unexpected pregnancy decision.

The difficult circumstances surrounding an unexpected pregnancy can make it easy for some women to be hard on themselves. This is a time where you may be in need of encouraging words. Avenue Women’s Center offers free, private consultations with our caring staff. We’ll provide you with the information and support needed to contemplate your decision. Since 1981, we’ve worked with a variety of women throughout DuPage County. And we can answer any questions you may have about abortion, adoption, or parenting.

Contact us today to speak with us about your options!

Do You Notice You’re Being Critical of Yourself?

It’s all my fault this happened.

Why didn’t I ___, or do ___ instead?

I should’ve done things differently.

These may be just some of the thoughts going through your mind after learning about an unexpected pregnancy. At a healthy level, self-criticism can help us analyze our behavior and show us where we may need to make changes. But if you’re noticing your negative thoughts have become incessant, it’s fair to say you might be unfairly attacking yourself.

Finding out you’re pregnant may have led you to be angry with yourself. You may be struggling with the feeling that this situation is a sign that you’re somehow irresponsible. This is a rather harsh thing to tell yourself. And you may want to explore what might be behind these thoughts.

Are you beating yourself up about the pregnancy? Or have you recently been hyper-focused on what you wish you could have done differently? Accepting the realities of the present can hard, but try to remember the past cannot be changed. This can be difficult. Some women may struggle with insecurities that had remained hidden prior to the pregnancy. Now, they may assume all of the pressure is on them to make things “right”.

Being Nice To Yourself and Taking Things Slowly

Our perceptions of ourselves can influence how we respond to certain situations. Our thought processes sometimes have the capacity to inform our behaviors or actions. Do you feel as if you bear the sole responsibility for the unexpected pregnancy? Does it seem like your job to take ownership of it by having an abortion? Are you worried about what others will say if they learned you were pregnant? What doubts might you be having about the future and why?

This is why it may be helpful to consult a professional resource. They can help you see if there’s a common theme tying these threads together. An unexpected pregnancy can be an overwhelming circumstance. But how can you break this seemingly huge situation down into small, manageable parts? Before you commit to a decision, you may want to begin working through some of your anxieties by setting short-term, obtainable goals.

  • If I’m considering abortion, where can I go to learn more about cost and the different types of procedures?
  • Where can I go to receive consultation about my options?
  • Do I need to schedule an ultrasound exam to learn how far along I am? Or to determine my early pregnancy risks such as a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy?
  • Who would I feel comfortable telling about my pregnancy so I can begin building a supportive network?

Support to Counteract Feeling Irresponsible

Talking through what you may be feeling during this sudden journey can help you analyze your thought processes. If you have a high expectation of making a fast decision about your pregnancy, why might this be? For what reason might you be leaning towards one of your options, such as abortion, over your other choices?

Understandably, there may be frustrations. But if you’re taking everything out on yourself, then consider what would you say to someone who was going through the same thing as you. Write out your hypothetical responses and apply them to yourself. These may be things you need to hear at the moment. And as you progress through the decision-making process, it can be helpful to find a compassionate resource who can share with.

Are you feeling irresponsible after learning about an unexpected pregnancy? Avenue Women’s Center is prepared to offer you confidential support and assistance, providing you with compassionate services at no cost. We provide relevant services and important information about all your pregnancy options. Become equipped to make a decision you feel good about.

Reach out today to set up your free appointment!  



GoodTherapy. (2018, June). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Retrieved from:

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.