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Considering Abortion So He’ll Never Know He’s Not the Father

Working alongside a partner to manage an unexpected pregnancy is challenging under any circumstances.  But what if your spouse, boyfriend, or committed partner is not the father?  In that case, you’re facing some especially complex circumstances.  Maybe you’re considering getting an abortion before he finds out about the pregnancy.  Your reasoning may go something like this: “If he never knows I was pregnant, he’ll never know he wasn’t the father, and this would be the best outcome for everyone involved.”

Does this sound like the thought that’s replaying in your head?  If so, you may be feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and isolated from your significant other.  It’s normal to experience these emotions upon discovering an unexpected pregnancy, even when you’re confident that your partner is the only man involved.  Know that Avenue Women’s Center is in your corner!  Our compassionate pregnancy consultants and nurses are dedicated to helping you discover clarity and encouragement, no matter how stressful your situation may be.

The free, confidential early pregnancy services we offer at Avenue are designed to help you understand your unique pregnancy and all your available options.  We provide medical-grade pregnancy tests, limited medical ultrasounds, pregnancy consultations, and more!

Receiving Clarity and Support

When you’re facing complicated and confusing circumstances, learning where you stand may be a logical place to start.  Consider getting an ultrasound with a health care provider or a first-step pregnancy center.  A scan may provide lots of useful information, like 1) your chances of miscarriage, 2) where the pregnancy is located, and 3) how far along you are (which will affect your pregnancy options).  It’s wise to learn about all your options (abortion, adoption, and parenting) and your available resources early on.  Avenue Women’s Center can help you access all this information and more.  Once you understand what’s happening inside your body and the possibilities that lay ahead, chances are, you’ll feel better equipped to take your next steps.

Receiving timely support from a trustworthy source is also vital.  Consider confiding in a family member, mentor, faith leader, or pregnancy consultant- someone who will respect your privacy and offer caring, neutral feedback.  Our expert staff at Avenue is here to fill this role, whether you feel alone on this journey or already have a strong support base.

Truthfulness: Your Best Approach?

If you feel safe disclosing your pregnancy news and information about the paternity to your partner, it may be wise to consider talking it through with him.  Choosing this path may strengthen the possibility of finding peace in your pregnancy decision both now and in the future.  You may be coping with painful emotions right now (like guilt, fear, or loneliness), along with pressure to keep your secrets.  These aren’t healthy motivators for a strong pregnancy decision.  But honesty may create the right conditions in your life and relationship for better decisions- about your pregnancy and in general.  Allow your personal strengths, values, and supports to drive the significant choices you make.  Being truthful and taking steps toward establishing trust with your loved ones may be an important part of this process.

Your situation may not have a clear, simple solution.  There may be emotional pain in the days and weeks ahead, and relationship wounds that need time to heal.  But our compassionate, non-judgmental staff at Avenue is available to navigate all this by your side.  We’ve been walking with persons facing situations similar to yours for over forty years.  This is a safe space to process your unique circumstances and discover how to move forward.

Schedule an appointment today!  We provide virtual and in-person consultations.  Walk-ins are welcome!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.