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Considering Abortion so Nobody Finds Out: “I Want to Set a Good Example for My Siblings”

Are you coping with an unexpected pregnancy that nobody in your family knows about?  Maybe you’re scared of coming forward because you can’t bear the thought of your siblings finding out.  If you’re concerned about setting an example for them, chances are, you’re afraid of them following in your footsteps, including the steps you wish you could take back.

You’re most likely a loving sister who genuinely cares about her siblings and wants them to avoid pain and heartache.  Your siblings are really lucky to have you in their lives, if so.  But it’s important to focus on your own needs as you navigate this unexpected pregnancy.  Avenue Women’s Center is a source of practical and emotional support to persons experiencing circumstances like yours.  We provide early pregnancy services at no cost to help you discover your own path with courage and confidence.

Learn more about Avenue!  We have six limited medical clinics in Chicagoland, Illinois!

Feeling the Weight of Responsibility

Perhaps your siblings really look up to you.  So, you’re asking yourself the question, “Would this pregnancy communicate to them that accidentally getting pregnant is normal or okay?”  It is possible for positive results to come from these circumstances.  But of course, an unexpected pregnancy isn’t anyone’s first choice.  It’s probably not a path you want for your loved ones.  You may be upset with yourself for making some decisions that led you to this point.  But feeling responsible for your siblings may be adding another layer of complexity to an already complex, frustrating situation.

Letting Go

It may be an important part of your coping process to “let go” and accept that your siblings’ future decisions are beyond your control.  They’re going to make their own choices, and keeping your pregnancy a secret isn’t going to change that.  You’re not responsible for their actions, even if you do have an influence.  Consider looking at these circumstances from a different perspective.  If you were your sibling, how do you think you would respond to your pregnancy news?  Is ending this pregnancy the only way to model something positive to your loved ones?  Chances are, it’s not.

Seeking Support

In the middle of these challenging circumstances, connecting with someone you trust could make a significant difference.  You don’t have to tell your siblings about your pregnancy if you’re not comfortable.  But confiding in someone who cares (like another family member, a mentor, counselor, or pregnancy consultant) could open up a whole new world of fresh insight and support.  It could also offer a sense of freedom to make your pregnancy decision based on your own desires and instincts if you don’t feel obligated to keep this a secret.  Our expert staff at Avenue would love to be a part of your support network, while helping you strengthen your connections with other caring people in your life.  We’re here to listen, never to judge.

At the end of the day, it’s important that this pregnancy decision comes from you.  To make this choice for someone else’s sake (even your sibling’s) would be misguided, because the pregnancy is in your body, and you’ll be impacted by the outcome more than anyone else.  Fear and secrecy aren’t healthy motivators for having an abortion or pursuing any other pregnancy option.  Make a decision that’s grounded in your personal strengths instead.  Our compassionate team at Avenue is here to help you identify and grow those strengths, so you can face the days ahead with confidence.

Schedule an appointment today!  Avenue Women’s Center provides free early pregnancy services to empower women facing circumstances like yours.  These include lab-quality pregnancy tests, limited medical ultrasounds, options consultations, and more!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.