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Fighting With My Partner After Learning About an Unexpected Pregnancy

Communication styles can vary greatly between couples. Particular seasons of life can also add stressors that lead to periods of conflict. Facing an unexpected pregnancy is one possible obstacle that can create tension within a relationship. What happens when you and your partner begin fighting after learning about an unexpected pregnancy? How do you handle this new challenge in a way that lessens the conflict within your relationship? 

Are you and your partner fighting a lot after learning about an unexpected pregnancy? With six locations in DuPage County, Avenue Women’s Center provides nonjudgmental assistance for a variety of unexpected pregnancy situations. There may be heightened emotions as you and your partner attempt to adapt to this new circumstance, and our trained staff are here to help. A caring pregnancy consultant can sit down with you both for a discussion about abortion, adoption, and parenting, as well as serve as an impartial third party during conversations about the pregnancy. Contact us to schedule a free appointment with our expert staff today!

What Do You Mean By “Fighting”?

There is a distinct difference between you and your partner having a disagreement you would both like to resolve and fights that are motivated by anger. Try to be mindful of the volume and tone the two of you may be using when in conversation with one another about an unexpected pregnancy. Are either of you sounding harsh or aggressive? Is someone raising their voice a lot during a discussion? Have you begun to talk over each other instead of listening to what the other has to say? These are often important things to consider, as the way we sound often influences the way another person interprets what we’re saying.

Our body language also conveys indirect messages to the opposite party during a dialogue. For example, if we’re invading someone’s personal space or clenching our fists, this may be perceived as threatening. If we’re looking around the room a lot while the other person is talking, we may appear unfocused and distracted, and this person may feel frustrated if they think we’re not listening. It’s good for you both to try and remember to be mindful of your physical expressions, as healthy communication often stems from feeling as if your partner is interested in what you have to say.

What Is the Outcome of These Fights?

Ultimately, you may want to ask yourself how fighting about your unexpected pregnancy with your partner makes you feel. Do you feel as if there was a successful resolution to a conflict as a result of the disagreement, or did you leave the conversation feeling angry and defeated? What is the outcome of the fight, and has it made you two closer or more distant? Are these discussions helping you both work productively through your goals, or are intense emotions hindering your progress?

It’s natural for you and your partner to have different communication styles and skills, and this may impact the way you both approach the issue of an unexpected pregnancy. Too much fighting is not healthy, and it’s possible the two of you disagree about which pregnancy option to make, what changes may occur as a result of the pregnancy, and what you both envision a decision about the pregnancy should look like. It can be frustrating to try to work out an unexpected pregnancy with a partner you feel is not listening to your needs, and perhaps the two of you could benefit from seeking help from an outside source.

Ask yourself if there’s anyone you both could trust to serve as an unbiased observer to a conversation between the two of you. Conflict resolution is often crucial to a successful relationship, and no matter which pregnancy decision you may be leaning towards, knowing your partner is there to support you can relieve some of your anxieties and fears. Consider contacting a counselor, a spiritual leader, or a pregnancy consultant to moderate a discussion between you two and step in if emotions begin to escalate.

While it may seem like a challenge, it is possible for you and your partner to work together and make a decision about an unexpected pregnancy. Try not to view the circumstance as the two of you being against one another, but rather, picture it as a being on the same team to overcome a problem. It may take time, as understandably there may be a lot of feelings between you both, but establishing a reliable communication pattern between each other can allow for teamwork during what may be a difficult situation.

When emotions are running high during an unexpected pregnancy, it can be hard to remember that you and your partner may need a productive way to talk things out. Avenue offers a safe environment for private consultations about pregnancy and any related concerns, with our trained staff helping to reduce tension and make room for a healthy discussion. We provide clients with accurate information about each of their options, and one of our pregnancy consultants can walk you and your partner through what each of your decisions may look like. Reach out today to start talking with us about your unexpected pregnancy situation!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.