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He Doesn’t Know I’m Considering My Options

When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, there are often two hurdles a woman must overcome: confirming the pregnancy and telling her partner. While there may still be a few more steps left in the process, congratulate yourself on knocking out what some women consider to be two of the most challenging phases of an unexpected pregnancy. But as you think about what decision to make about your pregnancy, it’s possible you may have decided not to include your partner in this process. There may be a variety of reasons why you’re hesitant to have him involved, and deciding what route to take on your unexpected pregnancy journey can be a challenge. Most women need support during this time, as many feelings may be drawing you to different options, and sorting through the information pertaining to each of them can be hard to do alone. You may want to think about the reasons you do not feel comfortable having your partner involved, and who you can reach out to instead for support.

Are you worried about your partner’s involvement when contemplating your pregnancy options? Avenue Women’s Center has assisted women throughout a variety of unexpected pregnancy situations, serving as a nonjudgmental form of support. Our pregnancy consultants are available to meet with you for a discussion about your options, providing information and support to help you take your next steps. We are here to help you feel safe and find the unexpected pregnancy decision that will work best for you. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation at one of our centers in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, Naperville, West Chicago, and Wood Dale, Illinois!

Why You May Be Hesitant to Accept Your Partner’s Support

Pregnancy Came at a Bad Time:

Perhaps you and your partner are both young, or you feel you’re not in a stage of your relationship where you’re prepared for an unexpected pregnancy. You may not want to discuss your potential plans with him because you have not firmly established a bond of trust with one another yet, as it’s possible you and your partner have not been together very long. Or you may worry his age or level of maturity will make him unavailable for a serious conversation about each of your pregnancy options, so going at it alone seems like the best choice. The two of you may benefit from having an honest conversation with one another about the circumstance you’re facing and what may come next.

While you’ve already told your partner about the pregnancy, which can be a difficult conversation to have, another discussion usually follows about what your plans may be moving forward. This may pose another challenge, as age and the status of your relationship can create conflict when attempting to bridge the gap between you two. It may be hard to find the right words to say to each other at this time, so it may be beneficial to seek guidance from someone who is trained to mediate these types of discussions, such as a spiritual leader, a counselor, or a pregnancy consultant.

I’ve Already Made My Decision:

When seeking relief from a stressful circumstance, it can be tempting to shape your mind into a steel trap. Once you’ve made an unexpected pregnancy decision, you may not want to go back on it, as perhaps you feel second-guessing your choice will lead you down a road of uncertainty. This may be why you have not told your partner that you’re still considering your options, worrying his input will cast doubt upon your decision. Not communicating with your partner about the pregnancy options you’re considering may lead to conflict later. Your partner might have assumed, for example, the two of you had silently agreed on parenting, but you’re leaning towards abortion instead. Without talking to each other, it can be easy for both of you to be in completely separate places when it comes to the pregnancy, which can lead to tension in the relationship, if not addressed. This may be a time of indecision and uncertainty, but allowing your partner to support you by including him in the process may reduce the chances of there being tension and hurt feelings later.

He Scares Me:

If you’re afraid to talk to your partner about your pregnancy options because he often frightens you, try not to ignore the warning signs of a potentially abusive situation. Abuse does not have to be physical, as threats, verbal putdowns, and an obsession with control are usually things to watch out for as well. You may feel as if you have to conceal the fact that you’re still contemplating your choices out of fear he will become angry and try to force you into a decision. Please know you are under no obligation to stay with a partner who mistreats you, and there are safe ways to seek help. A doctor appointment or a session with a licensed counselor or pregnancy consultant may be an opportunity for you to inform a mandatory reporter about what’s going on, and these professionals may be able to assist you. There are also hotlines available to you, as your health is a priority, especially when your body is in such a vulnerable condition.

No matter the reason why you may not want to tell your partner you’re still contemplating your options, Avenue Women’s Center is here to support you. On top of meeting with one of our compassionate pregnancy consultants to learn more about abortion, adoption, and parenting, you are free to share any concerns about your partner or the pregnancy within a safe environment. Our staff is trained to learn more about your unique story to see how they may help you. Schedule a time to meet with us and receive free, confidential support!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.