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“He Put the Word ‘Abortion’ in My Ear”

When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a while, you begin to feel like you understand each other really well. You know his likes, dislikes, quirks, and even fears. He knows you too—the things that drive you crazy and the hopes you have for the future. When you recently found out you were pregnant, it wasn’t planned, but it wasn’t the end of the world. You felt like the two of you could figure this out together, and were planning on continuing the pregnancy. When you told him, perhaps he didn’t respond as well as you hoped and suddenly things shifted. What happens when you were thinking about parenting together, but he put the word “abortion” in your ear?

Avenue Women’s Center is here to help. We have been assisting women in the midst of unexpected pregnancies since 1981. We understand that each woman’s situation is unique and comes with its own set of circumstances. Receive the support and information you need to take the next steps in your pregnancy decision in a confidential environment. Contact us today for a free consultation at one of our six DuPage County locations.

Navigating an Unexpected Response from Your Partner

One of the most difficult components to face in this situation is the unexpected response from your partner. It can feel confusing or shocking when someone you know really well responds in a way that is completely different than what was anticipated. This is especially the case when it involves a pregnancy decision, which has the potential to impact you both. So, how do you navigate this response well?

Gauging Your Partner’s Response

Often women are the first to find out about an unexpected pregnancy. You start experiencing symptoms like a missed period or bouts of nausea and become concerned that a pregnancy may be to blame. So, you take a test and learn the results. Sometimes, you may have suspicions long before your partner finds out. This often means you may have had more time to process the news before sharing it with your significant other.

Guys need time to process the pregnancy news as well. They may go through feelings of shock, stress, or anger, just like women often do when they find out the initial results. So, give him a little space to work through some of these initial feelings, providing a safe place to process some of his thoughts or concerns. Perhaps his consideration of abortion may only be an initial reaction.

After he’s had time to come to term with the news, some helpful questions to explore are:

  • In looking at the options for an unexpected pregnancy (abortion, adoption, and parenting), what percentage is he leaning towards each one?
  • How strongly does he feel about you having an abortion?
  • If you chose to follow through in your initial desire to parent, would he support you in any capacity?

Processing Through Your Pregnancy Decision

Once you know more about where he truly stands, it will then be up to you to determine how much you would like his opinion to influence your decision. It truly is your choice and will impact you the most directly. Some questions for your own consideration can be:

  • If he doesn’t want to support you in parenting, do you have other support systems available to you?
  • What are the risks of abortion, both emotionally and physically? Would he be available to assist you following a procedure?
  • What does each option look like for you both in a year, five years, or ten years down the road?

In all of this, Avenue Women’s Center is a great resource for your next step. We provide in-depth information regarding your three options of abortion, adoption and parenting, walking you through any questions or concerns you may have. Our expert staff provides compassionate support and nonjudgmental care to help you and your partner process through your pregnancy decision. Contact us today for free services right away!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.