This question, “How can I effectively share my pregnancy news with my kids?”, can be a tough one to answer. The “right” approach can look very different from person to person and from family to family. One thing tends to be consistent, though… this is rarely an easy conversation to have. Sometimes, a woman will reach the conclusion that telling her kid(s) about an unexpected pregnancy is the healthiest step for her family, even though it can be difficult to lean into this dialogue. Maybe you’re in a similar place today. Or, perhaps you have no idea if you should broach this topic with your kids, or how to navigate that discussion well.
Any mom who’s experiencing an unexpected pregnancy must decide for herself if sharing her pregnancy story with her kids would be appropriate and beneficial. Do you believe this may be the right move for your family? Know that there are steps you can take to promote good communication and help your children cope well with the news. Our caring, expert staff at Avenue Women’s Center is available to navigate that process by your side.
Learn more about Avenue! We’re a no-cost limited medical clinic that offers first-step pregnancy services to help individuals identify and pursue their own best outcomes. We have five locations in Chicagoland, Illinois!
Tips for Success
There’s no one-size-fits-all method to effectively share pregnancy news with children. Your best approach will likely depend on factors like your kids’ ages and personalities, your relationships with them, and the situation surrounding your unexpected pregnancy. While it’s true that a healthy approach will be tailored to your family, there are some general principles you can follow to communicate in an engaging and age-appropriate way. Consider these tips on sharing hard news with kids from the American Psychological Association (APA)!
- “Think about what you want to say.” Rehearse the conversation to yourself or with another trusted adult. This will help you figure out the right wording ahead of time and prepare for potential questions (APA).
- “Find a quiet moment.” Choose a time and place that will allow you to focus your full attention on your kids. Avoid potential distractions (for them and for you) (APA).
- “Find out what they know.” If you think that your child may already know something about your circumstances, ask them what they’ve heard. APA advises parents to, “Listen. Listen. Listen. And listen more” (APA).
- “Share your feelings with your child.” This could be a teachable moment. Show your kids that it’s okay to have hard emotions. Model what it looks like to cope well with difficult feelings (APA).
- “Tell the truth.” You don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) share all the details. But be honest with the limited information you give, and brainstorm ways you can express yourself using age-appropriate vocabulary. Sometimes, it’s okay to answer a hard question with, “I don’t know” (APA).
- “Above all, reassure.” Make sure your child knows that, no matter what, you’re in their corner. Show them that they’re safe and loved. Let them know you’re available if they need to have more conversations (APA).
Keep in Mind…
Your kids are bound to see your pregnancy situation from a very different perspective than you.
This may seem obvious, but it’s important to hold this conversation loosely and go into it with healthy expectations. Your kids’ emotional responses probably won’t align completely with yours. Try to avoid responding to this defensively. Listen to their thoughts and validate their feelings. Then, explain in an age-appropriate way where you’re coming from.
Your kids may already sense that something’s off.
Teens and children are often more emotionally intuitive than we expect them to be. Opening up to them in a healthy way, using language they understand, can help them feel safe and supported. It can also steer them away from false conclusions (APA).
As you take the next steps in your pregnancy journey, consider reaching out to Avenue Women’s Center! We offer free medical-grade pregnancy tests, options consultations, limited medical ultrasounds, and more. Avenue has been serving individuals from Chicagoland and beyond since 1981. We’ve navigated many pregnancy situations with many families. So, we understand how challenging it can be to respond to an unexpected pregnancy while looking out for your kids. We’re here to offer emotional and practical support every step of the way, no matter what you decide.
Call, text, chat, or email today! You’ll be met with warmth and empathy by a knowledgeable staff member.
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Reference:
American Psychological Association (APA). (2024, May). How to talk to children about difficult news. Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/topics/journalism-facts/talking-children
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.