1. They deserve to know. Even if you are terminating the pregnancy, plan to tell them before you go for the procedure. Your decision to abort should be a choice based on facts, and the facts include your parents’ response to your pregnancy—not just their “expected” response.
2. They should hear it from you. As painful as it might be to tell them, it will be worse if they have to guess, or find out from another source.
3. Help them respect your decision. If you’ve already made your choice, describe how you came to that conclusion. When they can follow your line of reasoning, they will be more likely to accept your conclusion. Also, they will trust your conclusion more if they see you’ve put thought into it and done your research. Ideally, when you respect your parents by telling them what’s going on, they will respect your wishes in this matter and support your decision.
4. Let them voice their concerns. Since they’ve listened to you, try to listen to them. It’s easy to get defensive if they have questions, but hang on to a little objectivity. If your dad had concerns about the car you were considering buying, you’d want to know about them, right? If you don’t agree, you don’t have to act on it.
5. They should not pressure you. Legally it is your decision. Practically, of course, there are subtle (and not-so-subtle) means of coercion. If you are being pressured, reach out for help. Social services organizations like CareNet may be able to assist you. If there is any kind of abuse involved, tell someone right away.
CareNet is happy to talk with you, your parents, or your family together. We provide information on each of the options and referrals for medical care, family counseling, and other community agencies.
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.