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“I Don’t Want My Community to Know I’m Pregnant”

For as long as Jane could remember, she has had a community of people around her. Most of the people she lives by know her name and smile when they greet her. She enjoys having others in her life, but there is a part of her she has kept hidden from her parents and fellow neighbors. This secret threatens to be revealed when her normally regular period is late. Finding herself turning inward, Jane feels isolated as she numbly continues to attend school and participate in social activities. She wishes for things to just return to “normal.” Fearing judgment from her peers and disappointment from her parents, Jane prays no one will find out about her pregnancy. She hopes for a way to make it disappear. Do you find yourself relating to Jane? Is there a secret you’ve been carrying for a while, but you’re not sure how to share? Where do you turn when you don’t want others in your community to know you’re pregnant?

After learning about an unexpected pregnancy, are you beginning to feel alone in your community? Avenue Women’s Center is here to listen to your story with sensitivity, offering nonjudgmental care during this confusing time. Our private options consultations will equip you with information about abortion, adoption, and parenting. We’ll ensure you have the support and confidence you need to freely explore your feelings about each option. Throughout our six locations in DuPage County, we offer limited medical services, such as medical-grade pregnancy tests and ultrasound exams to help you learn more about your available choices.

Call, chat, email, or text us to set up your free appointment today!

I’m Worried I’ll Be Judged by My Community

The news of a pregnancy is often associated with strong emotions. It can be scary to learn you’re pregnant when you’re young and may not feel prepared. You may feel uncertain about what you’re supposed to do after you learn about an unexpected pregnancy. If you aren’t aware that any of your peers have been in a situation like this, you may have found yourself struggling to relate to people who may have been your friends for as long as you can remember. Fearing judgment, your anxiety might have begun to craft scenarios in your head where they reject you for your pregnancy.

You may also be afraid of your parents’ reaction, and perhaps you’ve imagined them becoming angry with you. Perhaps they have shared expectations with you for a different outcome in your life and you are worried to disappoint them. They may have even expressed how they would respond if you were ever to become pregnant. So, you have concerns now that this hypothetical situation is a reality. Feeling overwhelmed or afraid of approaching this topic with them is a common response.  Some women may find themselves contemplating abortion as an option to avoid the topic altogether. 

It’s normal for most women to practice in their heads how they may tell someone about an unexpected pregnancy. But as you envision each conversation, ask yourself: How would I feel about keeping an unexpected pregnancy a secret forever?  What are the potential positive outcomes of sharing the news with them? How might my fears or insecurities be preventing me from having this conversation?

Talking About Your Pregnancy With Your Community

An unexpected pregnancy can be a time of confusion and worries about the future. In times of vulnerability, there is often a need to feel welcome in sharing our emotions. The larger the secret, the harder it usually is to keep it concealed, and if we never share it with anyone, then we generally have no way of ever knowing if someone could have understood us or not.

Talking things out before you decide is often a good first step. If you’re still uncomfortable speaking with your parents about an unexpected pregnancy, then consider first reaching out to a trusted teacher, a school counselor, a coach or extracurricular supervisor,  a spiritual leader, or a pregnancy consultant. These are resources that can provide an outlet to release your stress. Counselors and pregnancy consultants can not only offer unbiased advice but help establish healthy communication between you and your loved ones.

What Are My Next Steps?

After learning about a pregnancy, it’s usually important for women to seek medical care. Now, it may seem like a step to skip if you plan to have an abortion, but medical care can provide beneficial, relevant information while making a decision. As you’re likely already aware, pregnant women typically schedule an ultrasound exam. You may be able to make an appointment for yourself through a doctor or pregnancy decision center.

An ultrasound will provide information on how far along you are, letting you know your gestational age and available pregnancy options.  Also, it can rule out health risks such as miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. While these conditions are generally rare, they often require alternative medical options that will impact your pregnancy decision.

You may have a lot of questions about your health and your options, so please know there are plenty of caring resources available to provide you with answers.

The shock of an unexpected pregnancy may have worried about your community’s reaction, leading you to conceal it. Avenue Women’s Center is here to dispel feelings of isolation and offer nonjudgmental support through free consultations and limited medical services. Our expert staff will answer your questions with sensitivity, addressing your concerns with compassionate understanding. Reach out today and begin speaking with one of our caring pregnancy consultants! 

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.