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“I Feel Like I’ll Be a ‘Bad Example’ to My Siblings No Matter What Pregnancy Decision I Make”

Are you an older sister or a leader of your family?  Maybe you’re coping with an unexpected pregnancy, and you’re afraid you’ll end up setting a “bad example” for your siblings whether you choose abortion, adoption, or parenting.  It can be terrifying to think of your choices potentially disappointing your loved ones.  If you believe that this outcome is unavoidable no matter which pregnancy option you pursue, you’re probably feeling pretty discouraged today. Know that you’re fully capable of discovering a positive conclusion to this story- one that highlights your strengths.  You have what it takes to move forward with courage that key people in your life will come to respect.

If you’re feeling anxious, confused, or disheartened about your pregnancy options, reach out to Avenue Women’s Center!  We’re a limited medical clinic, equipping individuals with information about all the options available to them, so they can make the most confident pregnancy decisions possible.  Avenue offers no-cost, confidential services at five locations in the western Chicago metro area. 

Learn more about Avenue!  We’ve been trusted providers of early pregnancy support since 1981. 

Not a “Lose-Lose” Situation, But an Opportunity

As your decision-making process continues, ask yourself what you want to model to your siblings, while focusing most of your energy on the next steps that are right for you.  This pregnancy experience is an opportunity to demonstrate attributes like bravery and resiliency.  In fact, these qualities shine the brightest under the hardest of circumstances.  Know that you’re not bound by the stereotypes associated with whichever pregnancy option you choose.  There’s hope for your future regardless of the challenges you’re facing or where this journey leads.  With the right resources and information, you could discover unexpectedly positive outcomes to this pregnancy journey.  What could set a better example for your siblings than that?

Navigating an Unexpected Pregnancy with Loved Ones

Try not to make assumptions about what other people think about your pregnancy decision or the choices leading up to it.  Remember that you’re probably more focused on your mistakes and missteps than they are.  Chances are, your siblings already look up to you and are rooting for you.  If you feel comfortable sharing this pregnancy experience with them, it may be helpful to have some transparent conversations.  Explain where you’re at emotionally and why you’re leaning towards certain outcomes.  Invite them to offer feedback and express their own feelings.  This approach will likely build bonds of empathy and mutual respect.

Redirecting Your Focus

At the end of the day, it’s important to accept that your influence over your siblings is limited.  No matter what kind of example you set, they’ll make their own choices in life that aren’t yours to bear.  Your desire to model something positive to them is admirable.  But it’s healthy to focus on your next best steps, because you aren’t responsible for anyone’s decisions but your own.  It may be time to consider loosening your grip on your concern about setting a good example.

At Avenue Women’s Center, we strive to help women find their best paths forward, while navigating the many challenges of an unexpected pregnancy with important people in their lives.  Our free first-step pregnancy services are designed to clarify the condition of your pregnancy (how far along you are, your chances of miscarriage, etc.), so you can know where you stand medically and what options are available to you.  We believe that a more knowledgeable pregnancy decision is a more empowered pregnancy decision.

Call, text, chat, or email to connect with an expert staff member today!  We’re here to meet you with warmth and compassion.

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.