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“I Hardly Ever Have Sex.  It’s Unfair That I’m Pregnant”

Are you wondering how you could have a positive test result if you hardly ever have sex?  Maybe you know someone who says she has sex often and has never gotten pregnant.  Perhaps you are in shock because your chances were slim or you used protection.  Your circumstances may feel frustrating and unfair.  That’s understandable!  But you’re more than capable of facing this head-on and reaching your own best outcome, despite the challenges.

Unexpected, emotionally painful situations are a difficult part of life.  These circumstances sometimes unfold in ways and for reasons we don’t understand.  But you don’t have to navigate this unexpected pregnancy on your own.  Avenue Women’s Center is here to help!  We’re a limited medical clinic with six locations in Chicagoland, Illinois, and we offer free early pregnancy services to women in our community and beyond!

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Comparison: Rarely Your Best Approach

If you believe this pregnancy is unfair, you may be comparing your experiences with your peers.’  This is often an instinctive reaction.  However, it’s important to remember that others’ circumstances aren’t always what they appear to be, especially when it comes to private subjects like sex and pregnancy.  Let’s say you have a friend who talks with you about her frequent sexual encounters and says she’s never been pregnant.  Chances are, there’s more to her story.  But focusing on her situation probably isn’t your best approach, unless action is needed to protect her safety and wellness.

Leaning into Your Strengths

As natural as comparison feels, it’s rarely constructive.  Measuring your situation against someone else’s won’t solve the challenges you’re facing.  Instead, concentrate on what’s in front of you.  Identify your unique strengths, and explore how these could help you cope well.  Are you a strong communicator?  Maybe this trait will equip you to engage in respectful, productive conversations with family members about your pregnancy.   Are you resourceful?  Chances are, your community offers an abundance of resources to explore and utilize.  It’s empowering to focus on your strong points and to utilize them.  When you dwell on the unfairness of your situation and compare yourself with others, this will only produce frustration and discouragement.

Equipping Yourself with Reliable Information

Speaking of empowerment, gathering reliable information about your pregnancy is another excellent way to equip yourself for the road ahead.  Once you’ve confirmed that you’re pregnant, seriously consider getting an ultrasound.  A scan serves many purposes.  It identifies how far along you are, which can help narrow down which pregnancy options you qualify for.  It can also detect early pregnancy risks, like miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy (a pregnancy located outside the uterus).  Some situations, like ectopic pregnancy, require immediate medical attention.  So, getting a scan is not only useful to your decision-making process.  It’s beneficial to your health and wellness!

Do you believe your unexpected pregnancy is unfair because you rarely have sex?  Most likely, you’re feeling angry about various factors outside of your control, like past decisions or mishaps, and how your circumstances compare with someone else’s.  Be sure to concentrate on what is within your sphere of influence, like your pregnancy decision.  You have options- three, in fact (abortion, adoption, and parenting)!  At Avenue Women’s Center, we aim to empower you with the knowledge and resources you need to move forward with courage and confidence.

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The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.