Contemplating your unexpected pregnancy options can be a difficult process, but perhaps a friend or family member has offered to help by adopting your child. This arrangement is typically known as an independent adoption, where you and the prospective adoptive parents are known to each other. While this form of adoption may include a few unique benefits, such as not having to go through the process of reviewing and selecting adoptive parents, there’s still a few things to consider. Adoption, while a potentially rewarding choice, is still an unexpected pregnancy option, which means there may still be questions to ask yourself before you commit yourself to it.
Are you considering independent adoption as an unexpected pregnancy decision? Avenue Women’s Center offers nonjudgmental services to clients at no cost, supporting you through the decision-making process. Each of our caring pregnancy consultants is prepared to offer you reliable information, answering any questions about your options. If you’re thinking about adoption, our staff can help you understand the different types, as well as how to begin communicating with an adoption agency. Contact us to schedule a free appointment to discuss your adoption choices today!
Questions to Ask Before Committing to an Independent Adoption
While having someone you know adopt your child seems like a positive solution, there may still be a few things to consider. At first glance, an independent adoption appears to offer a completely smooth transition, as the familiarity of your friends or relatives may provide you with a sense of safety. It’s great to know those closest to you are willing to support you, and perhaps both parties desire this personally involved experience.
But have you considered the following questions?
How Familiar Are You With Your Friends or Relatives?
Knowing the family you plan to entrust your child’s care to may fill you with a sense of comfort, and it’s likely you trust them. But what is the level of your relationship? Are they close friends you’ve known for a long time, or are they mutual acquaintances you met through another friend of yours? This can be important, as it’s possible your friends or family members have not completed the same thorough screening process an adoption agency usually puts hopeful parents through.
Why Are You Considering Having Them Adopt Your Child?
A successful adoption experience usually depends on you finding the couple you sincerely feel is the right fit for your child. Are you considering your friend as an adoptive parent because they match the qualities you desire? It may be important to think about whether or not the parents you’re considering possess them. While familiarity with the adoptive parent and potentially having them live nearby, can be convenient, it’s recommended you make sure these aren’t your only reasons for considering independent adoption.
Are You Ready to Grant Parental Rights to Your Friends or Family Members?
The closeness of your relationship can make this hard to remember, but similar to an adoption where you may not know their identity, adoptive parents are legally responsible for your child. While revocation periods tend to vary by state, once you consent to the adoption, your friend or relative is now this child’s legal parents. This could mean having to respect decisions they make about parenting that you may not always agree with, and the establishment of new boundaries may change your relationship. While an independent adoption offers a unique connection between you, your child, and the adoptive parents, you may also still have to arrange visitations and contact with the child in a way that accommodates all of your schedules.
Will You Be Comfortable Being Around Your Friends After the Adoption?
Since it’s possible your relationship may change after the adoption, do you anticipate this putting a strain on your friendship, or strengthening it? Depending on the contact you’ve arranged to have with your child, will seeing him or her being raised by your loved ones make it easier or harder to cope with the transition?
Is It Still Possible to Access Services?
When some women consider adoption, they receive free services and financial assistance through an agency. But if you decide not to work with an agency, and place your child directly with someone you know, you may want to ask yourself if you still need help with pregnancy-related services. Will your friend be able to provide you with the support you need? Additionally, agencies sometimes offer other benefits you may not receive through an independent adoption, such as counseling and scholarship opportunities.
Unexpected Pregnancy and Adoption
If you’re pregnant and thinking about adoption, careful research about your options is recommended to ensure the best possible outcome. This is not meant to discourage independent adoption, but before going through with it, you may still want to gather information. While going through the adoption process can seem overwhelming, you may want to contact an agency or a pregnancy decision clinic as your next step. Having a solid understanding of your state’s laws, as well as the many different types of adoption can assist with you feeling secure in your choice.
Moving forward with an adoption plan is not always easy, but enlisting the right support can make the task ahead of you appear less daunting.
The processes of going through with an adoption can seem confusing, but Avenue Women’s Center can help. Our expert staff can supply you with information about open, semi-open, closed, or independent adoptions, taking the time to answer your questions and help you connect with a local agency. Schedule a time to meet with us to discuss your unexpected pregnancy and adoption options!
- American Adoptions. How to Put a Baby Up for Adoption. Retrieved from: https://www.americanadoptions.com/pregnant/adoption_process
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.