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making a pregnancy decision without him

Facing an unexpected pregnancy without your partner’s involvement can compound an already difficult decision. You might be feeling scared, overwhelmed, or frustrated in his absence. Maybe the relationship was more casual, perhaps it recently ended, maybe fear is driving him to be physically and emotionally unavailable, or maybe he just doesn’t want to be involved. Maybe he told you “I support whatever you decide,” which is well-meaning but can leave a woman feeling alone in a pregnancy decision. What’s worse are the negative stigmas and judgments you might be experiencing that often get associated with single pregnant women. But you didn’t get into this situation on your own, and you don’t have to face it alone either.

As you deal with the tough choice of an unexpected pregnancy, know that you are not alone as you decide your best option. Avenue Women’s Center has helped women facing unplanned pregnancies for over 30 years in the DuPage County area. Avenue offers free pregnancy consultations to confidentially discuss your options in a safe, compassionate, and nonjudgmental atmosphere. Call, text, chat, or email us today and set up an appointment at one of our five locations.

There are many women who have experienced the difficulty of making a life-altering choice without their partner’s involvement. Every person handles conflict differently, and the initial feelings of a challenging situation can change over time. How he’s feeling right now might change in the future, and likewise for you. As you cope with your feelings and consider your options, ask yourself how this will affect you in the future months and years. How could each pregnancy option affect you now versus further on in life? How will each option shape your life, and possibly the father’s as well?

These questions might leave you with even more questions, and it can be extremely difficult to answer them on your own. Consider the following as helpful initial steps you can take:

  • Don’t rush your decision. Carefully explore your pregnancy options not just for your immediate circumstances, but also your long-term future. Things that are weighing heavily on you currently may not be as significant in time. It can be helpful to slow your thought process and take a deeper look at each of your pregnancy options.
  • Learn more about each option. Educate yourself about the possibilities of each outcome to learn more about how it could affect your life. What obstacles are concerning you about each pregnancy outcome and how can you prepare yourself to handle them?
  • Be kind to yourself about your feelings. Don’t be surprised if your feelings about your pregnancy fluctuate from day-to-day or even moment-to-moment. This is completely understandable! Imagine how you would be towards someone else in your position, and give yourself that same kindness and compassion.
  • Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. A challenging choice can be even harder if we aren’t at our full capacity. None of us make our best choices under physical and emotional duress, so make sure you are practicing self-care to give yourself the ability to make your best pregnancy decision.

You might want to run and hide from this tough choice. However, it is a choice you have to make with or without your partner’s involvement, and a choice that may affect him whether you follow through with the pregnancy or not. As you cope with this difficult decision, know that you deserve support, compassion, and understanding. Are there other supportive, loving people in your life who you can talk to about your pregnancy? Even if you aren’t initially ready to talk about your pregnancy with a trusted person in your life, it’s important to seek help early on in your decision making process. We all reach points in our lives that we need help getting through, and it’s perfectly okay to ask for that help from a loved one, trusted friend, or even an outside party.

As you face your pregnancy decision, let Avenue Women’s Center offer you our kind and judgment-free support. Avenue provides free pregnancy tests and free pregnancy consultations to discuss your options with our caring client advocates. We provide helpful information and resources to support you as weigh your pregnancy options. Despite how you may be feeling, you are not alone in this choice. Avenue Women’s Center is here to help. Reach out to us today and let us be there for you through this difficult choice.

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.

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