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My Family Situation Is Secure, but Pregnancy Isn’t Right for Me

It is often assumed that when a person is caught in an unexpected pregnancy, she must be young, or unmarried, or in a difficult financial situation. However, this is not always the case. Unexpected pregnancies can be just as difficult for those who are in a secure family situation. And facing unexpected pregnancy can be distressing no matter what stage of life you find yourself in!

Do you find yourself grappling with the news that you are unexpectedly pregnant? Perhaps you know you’d have support and maybe money isn’t an issue, but you just have this uncomfortable feeling. Maybe it’s the feeling that pregnancy isn’t right for you. While it’s ultimately your decision to make, check all the boxes first! Avenue Women’s Center can provide you with all of the information you need as well as confidential consultations to discuss your options and a path forward.

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Steps to Determining the Right Decision

There are a variety of reasons that could cause someone to decide this is not the right time for pregnancy, even in a secure family situation. You may have just given birth, or you may have teenagers and feel that you are past the “baby stage.” Perhaps you are worried about how your older children will react to another sibling. For many women, a successful career does not allow the flexibility that pregnancy and parenting often requires. Whatever the reason may be, many women in happy marriages or stable family circumstances still find themselves in an anxiety-ridden position of deciding what to do with an unexpected pregnancy. This is not an easy decision to make, especially if you feel pregnancy is not right for you.

Sometimes upon hearing shocking news it takes us a while to fully gather our thoughts and make a plan of action. So, to get going on the right path, here are a few tips to remember if you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant:

  1. You have the right to make this decision. At times, a woman in a secure family situation can feel shame and fear associated with having to decide what to do with a pregnancy. However, there are many factors that could influence the feeling of pregnancy not being right for you. Don’t let the stereotype cause you to feel ashamed of getting the help you need.
  2. Make sure you have the support you need. It can be easy to feel that you can fix this problem on your own, maybe even apart from your partner or close family members. However, support is essential, no matter what options you are considering. Think about somebody close to you, like your partner or another trusted family member that you can talk to about this pregnancy. Having another person to bounce your thoughts off of could be the best step to make the best decision you can.
  3. Take this one step at a time. Especially for those who may be further along in life, it’s important to get all of the medical information you need before moving forward with a pregnancy decision. Since the chance of miscarriage increases with age, an ultrasound can be a vital first step to find out whether the pregnancy is likely to continue on its own or not.

Receiving Support in a Pregnancy Decision

If your family situation is secure but you feel pregnancy isn’t right for you, it may be helpful to take a step back and evaluate your own goals and feelings. Sometimes, when we are close to family, we don’t want anything to rock the boat of our relationship dynamics. But it’s important not to let the thoughts and opinions of others overshadow you own. If you are thinking of making a decision that is ‘right’ for the family, make sure it’s really right for you too.

Wherever you’re at in your stage of life or your pregnancy decision, Avenue Women’s Center would love to come alongside you and support you during this time. While your family situation may be secure, it never hurts to have other resources to rally beside you. As you process your news and decision, our caring pregnancy consultants would love to listen to your story and help you make steps toward the right decision for you.  

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The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.