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My Girlfriend Is Pregnant and I Don’t Know What to Do

Your partner shares some sudden news with you: she’s pregnant. Shock and uncertainty may be your initial reaction as you begin to process the news. Due to age, life circumstances, or a general feeling of unpreparedness, perhaps your friends and family members are encouraging you both to decide on abortion. An unexpected pregnancy is a new, somewhat alarming situation to find yourself in. Where do you turn when your girlfriend is pregnant and you don’t know what to do? One of the first steps to doing this is to establish healthy communication as you both seek to educate yourselves about the decisions you have to make.

Has your partner recently shared the news of an unexpected pregnancy with you? If you’re feeling unsure about how to handle this new development, Avenue Women’s Center is here to offer support through confidential services and care. We understand how a pregnancy can change the nature of a couple’s relationship, and it can be difficult to figure out a way to talk productively with one another. That’s why we offer free consultation appointments with a client advocate who can meet with you and your partner for a private session to help you both work through you options. Contact us today and receive assistance communicating with your partner about an unexpected pregnancy!

Opening Communication With Your Partner

After listening to others talk about it, abortion can seem like an easy solution to the conflict you and your partner are currently facing. But is abortion what you and your partner truly want? It does not matter what the extent of your relationship with one another is – something has happened to change the nature of the bond you have with your partner. The decision you both make has the potential to deepen your relationship or drive you further apart.

Since your partner is the one who is pregnant, it appears to make sense for you to leave the decision up to her. She may have even said she doesn’t want to hear your opinion, or that she’s capable of handling the pregnancy without you. It’s possible your girlfriend is unsure about how to talk about something so intimate with you, and this may be due to the nature of your relationship, or maybe she doesn’t know how to approach you.

Try not to make it seem as if you’re uninterested in what she has to say, and be mindful of your body language. Things like heavy pacing, breathing, or tensed muscles when she talks about the pregnancy with you are reactions that may make her wary. She may think this pregnancy is distressing to you, or she’s somehow making you angry any time she brings it up.

One of the ways to be a source of support she feels comfortable confiding in is to not make assumptions about how she may be feeling. Even if your girlfriend seems quiet about the pregnancy, this doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to have a conversation about it. By leaving the pregnancy decision up to her, your intention may be to sound supportive, but it may leave her feeling isolated. She may interpret this to mean you are not interested in the pregnancy, and she may even assume you want her to choose abortion.

Be careful what you say or don’t say, as the small things could have a large impact.

How to Support Your Partner

To help your girlfriend understand how much you want to support her, consider being there with her as she goes through each step. One of the first things she may need to do is confirm the pregnancy, even if she has already taken a test at home. Since many factors can influence the results of home pregnancy tests, it’s beneficial to make an appointment for a pregnancy test at a doctor’s office, medical clinic, or pregnancy clinic. Once you have received confirmation, the two of you may be able to begin the process of seeking confidential support and other services to assist in the decision-making process.

If the results are confirmed as positive, it’s important to determine the viability of the pregnancy before committing to an option such as abortion, adoption, or parenting. Viability typically refers to a pregnancy’s ability to continue, and this can be determined by scheduling an ultrasound exam. If there is a chance your girlfriend is at risk for miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy, a different medical step may be involved. The decision you both make about a pregnancy may also be dependent upon how far along your partner is, and an ultrasound exam will usually inform you about the pregnancy’s gestational age as well.

Pregnancy often triggers an emotional and physical response in women, so having you there to reassure her can help her feel less overwhelmed.

Understanding how to help your partner during an unexpected pregnancy can seem confusing. Avenue Women’s Center is here for you both, offering you the chance to discuss your pregnancy options through a confidential appointment with a compassionate pregnancy consultant. We provide clients with a free, limited ultrasound exam to assess the gestational age of their pregnancy, and identify any potential early risks. All of our services are nonjudgmental, and our six locations in DuPage County are here to ensure you and your partner have access to the care you need. Reach out and book your free appointment with us today!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.