Marriage is not always an easy commitment. Quite often, marriage means vowing to take your spouse for who he is, who he’s been, and what he may become. The first year of your marriage can be exciting for some couples. There may be warm and fuzzy sentiments as you embrace the time you have with each other, deepening your relationship through travel or shared hobbies. Starting a family of your own might have been something you talked about doing later. But for now, perhaps you’re content to focus on other things as you learn how to put each other’s needs before your own. Since you’re newly married, you may have wanted to delay having kids until you felt more prepared. The news of an unexpected pregnancy may have come as a surprise to you both. You may not have planned for this, so how do you handle the arrival of this unknown adventure in your lives?
If you’re newly married and worried about being pregnant, Avenue Women’s Center is here to help. Our six Chicagoland locations provide you with reliable information and resources. Confirm your pregnancy with a free medical-grade pregnancy test and discuss your options in a confidential environment. We are here to assist you and your spouse as you navigate this new experience.
Contact us today to schedule a free appointment at one of our centers in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn/Lombard, Naperville, West Chicago, or Wood Dale, Illinois!
Why Am I Struggling With My Pregnancy News?
The way couples respond to the news of an unexpected pregnancy within the first year of a marriage can vary. Some couples may feel a sense of immediate excitement at the idea of expanding their family. Others may experience a sense of shock and nervousness before eventually warming to the concept of parenthood. You may be somewhere in-between, or perhaps your emotions run a little deeper.
What if my spouse and I are not ready to be parents? How will a pregnancy change our lives? Will we grow to resent each other if we try to parent and we’re not prepared?
Communication and Next Steps
It can be helpful to take a step back from the situation so you can begin to view things differently. It’s okay to feel surprised, confused, and even a little scared. But try to remember you and your spouse are on the same team. Before the wedding, you and your spouse might have discussed the life you envisioned with each other. And this plan might have involved taking on the role of parenting at a later date.
Communicating your wants and values to your partner is usually important as you contemplate how to create a life with each other. But as you may have realized, a marriage sometimes involves unknowns. It may not always be possible to predict every circumstance that may arise. And it’s hard to know how these events will affect you and your spouse.
A pregnancy means there may be much for you two to discuss. It may be helpful for you and your spouse to reframe the conversation. Don’t think in terms of who you both may be right now, but who you anticipate becoming through shared experiences. Regardless of the decision, how will you both continue to grow with one another as you encounter changes together? What mutual expectations do you and your spouse have when it comes to lifting each other up during difficult situations?
Just Married…Now Pregnant?
One of your concerns about being pregnant may stem from being newly married. How can you and your spouse overcome this when your committed partnership has only just begun to blossom?
Even couples who have been married for years may struggle with unforeseen circumstances, such as financial hardships, illness, or unanticipated tragedies. You may be worried about how you’ll cope with a pregnancy while you’re newly married. But does a sense of readiness for life’s hurdles help you overcome them? This is why it may be of benefit to reach out to a counselor, a spiritual leader, or a pregnancy consultant. Instead of focusing solely on building a sense of preparedness, you may want to explore ways you and your partner can prioritize one another’s needs.
You have time to make a decision. And you may want to use this opportunity to talk about the pregnancy with your partner. How does he feel about becoming a parent? If either of you is experiencing negative emotions, are they yours? Or are you trying to link your emotional state to the feelings you think your spouse is carrying? Have you talked about why you may be considering abortion, adoption, or parenting as an option?
Making Room for A Pregnancy Decision
You and your spouse can’t always predict how something in the present will affect you in the future. But by opening up a dialogue, you can begin learning more about one another. You’ll journey through making a life-changing decision together, perhaps for the first time since you chose to get married. Try to remember there will likely be pros and cons behind each option. But making room for each other’s feelings is one way you and your partner can reassure one another as you take on this new journey.
Are you worried about how you and your spouse will cope with an unexpected pregnancy? Avenue Women’s Center offers consultations and resources at no cost, helping to establish healthy communication between women and their partners. Our expert staff will meet with you for a private discussion about your options, providing you with a nonjudgmental environment to talk openly about your concerns.
Reach out today for free pregnancy support!
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.