Are you facing an unexpected pregnancy with someone who isn’t, “dad material”? Maybe he lacks a few qualities that you’d hope to see in a long-term partner or co-parent… qualities like responsibility, wisdom, or tenderness. Perhaps he’s already coping with financial, legal, or other challenges that would make parenting especially hard. Would any of this make him a, “bad guy”? Of course not. Like many women, you’ve probably just resolved to find a partner with certain attributes before growing your family (if growing your family is even something you’ve desired). What if you’re pregnant by someone who doesn’t meet this standard… and a part of you wants to parent anyway?
Each person must discover the answer to this complex question for herself. If you’re wrestling with a similar situation, know that you don’t have to navigate the days and weeks ahead on your own. Our expert staff at Avenue Women’s Center can provide reliable information and caring support to help you take confident next steps. We’ve been a trusted provider of early pregnancy services in Chicagoland since 1981!
Contact Avenue Women’s Center today to learn more! We’re located in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, West Chicago, and Wood Dale, Illinois.
A Few Guiding Principles
As mentioned before, each individual must process her own circumstances and weigh her own options to discover her best pregnancy outcome. However, there are a few guiding principles that any person in an unexpected pregnancy situation can follow to navigate her decision-making process with care and wisdom. Here are a few tips our Avenue staff have found to be beneficial as we’ve walked this road with thousands of women over the years.
- Lean into your values, beliefs, and core desires, no matter what you’re facing. Circumstances can change in an instant, and they’re often beyond our control. It’s best to make a choice that’s grounded in your values, beliefs, and core desires. These may be the deepest, steadiest aspects of who you are. They’ll form a firmer and healthier foundation for your pregnancy decision than circumstances, fears, or anything else.
- Hold your vision of the future in an open palm. The future can be very unpredictable. Your current partner may or may not change and mature as time moves forward. Whether or not you choose to stay with him for now, there’s always a possibility that you’ll find someone else who has the qualities you’re looking for later on. If you chose to continue the pregnancy, but felt that the father wasn’t a good influence, you could also look for other strong role models for your child. Try to hold your vision for the future loosely. Consider possible future outcomes and solutions without letting them consume your thoughts. Don’t make your pregnancy decision solely based on fears of what might
- Gather some baseline information about your pregnancy and options. Learn about the processes and risks involved with each of your pregnancy options (abortion, adoption, and parenting). Find out how far along you are, where the pregnancy is located, and whether or not your pregnancy is likely to end naturally in a miscarriage. This information will guide your next steps and help you assess which pregnancy option(s) would be most appropriate for you. It’s only natural to worry about what the future might look like and whether or not your partner would be a good dad. To a certain extent, contemplating the future will be a key part of your decision-making process. However, it’s also important to focus on the present and take this journey one small step at a time.
Avenue Women’s Center is available to provide the options and pregnancy information mentioned above in a comfortable and private setting, at no cost! If your support system is limited, know that there are many resources out there to equip you for the pregnancy outcome that you choose. Our caring staff would be honored to be a part of your support network for as long as this journey continues.
Discover the confidential services offered at our five limited medical clinics, and contact us today! You have what it takes to make a decision that’s grounded in knowledge and confidence, rather than fear. We’re here to help you embrace that.
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.