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Unexpectedly Pregnant: “I Have Complicated Feelings About Father’s Day”

Father’s Day is right around the corner (this year, on June 16th)!  Of course, this holiday is meant to celebrate the influence of dads and honor the many people who engage in this important role.  But Father’s Day definitely isn’t a celebratory time for everyone.  When it comes to connecting with dads (or any close family members), life can get messy at times.  Some of us have lost our fathers to death and disease, some struggle with unhealthy relationships, and many of us have never known our biological dads.  Maybe you’re coping with an unexpected pregnancy right now, and this is triggering some complicated feelings this Father’s Day.

Avenue Women’s Center is available to partner with you throughout your pregnancy journey, no matter how challenging it gets.  We’re a first-step pregnancy center that offers free and confidential limited medical services.  Our goal is to provide comprehensive and accurate information about your pregnancy, options, and resources, so you can make the most knowledgeable pregnancy decision possible when you’re ready to take that step.  We’re also here to offer emotional support and help you process the complex circumstances surrounding your pregnancy.

Learn more about our free first-step pregnancy services!  They’re available at our five clinics in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, West Chicago, and Wood Dale, Illinois.

Your Feelings May be Natural, But They Don’t Define You

As someone who’s facing an unexpected pregnancy, you may have complex feelings about Father’s Day for many different reasons.  Perhaps the person you’re pregnant by isn’t involved or you don’t plan to stay with him.  If you have a committed partner, and you’re leaning toward abortion or adoption, you may be processing the idea of him not becoming a dad (at least, not right now).  Your emotions surrounding Father’s Day are probably especially complicated if you don’t have a positive relationship with your own dad or father figure.  Know this… in no way are you defined by your family history or your present circumstances.  You’re strong enough to make whichever pregnancy decision is right for you, no matter what obstacles you’re facing.

Tips for Coping Well on Father’s Day

If you think that Father’s Day may be a difficult day for you, here are a couple of pointers to help you handle it with a healthy mindset (and maybe even have a good time).

Acknowledge your feelings…

Acknowledge your feelings, however painful they are, but cultivate balance by finding positive ways to occupy your mind.  Trying to stuff your emotions down probably won’t be helpful.  It’s healthier to say to yourself, “I have complicated feelings about today, and that’s okay.” Once you’ve taken this step, consider engaging in an activity you enjoy or celebrating a father who’s had a positive influence on your life.  This person doesn’t have to be your dad.  You could send a card, or spend the day with him and his family if he’s someone you’re close with (like a brother or brother-in-law, for example).  You may wish to explore your complex emotions a bit further at some point.  Don’t put pressure on yourself to do that on Father’s Day, especially if your feelings are just too raw.

Get support…

Get support- to cope with Father’s Day, your unexpected pregnancy, and everything in between.  Accessing caring support is vital to coping well with any painful life situation.  Consider confiding in someone like a trusted family member, a professional counselor, a mentor, a faith leader, or a pregnancy consultant.  If your partner is involved and supportive, consider processing your complicated emotions with him.  He likely has some complex feelings of his own.  Talking through these together could be healthy for both of you as individuals, and healthy for your relationship.

Unexpected pregnancies tend to trigger sensitive and complicated feelings about all kinds of ordinary life experiences, like Father’s Day and other holidays.  That’s normal and natural!  You’re fully capable of coping well and moving forward with courage and resilience.  Our expert pregnancy consultants and nurses at Avenue are here to help you accomplish this while equipping you with all the information you need to confidently pursue your own best pregnancy outcome.  We’re a pressure-free, shame-free, judgment-free zone.

Reach out to get your questions answered and schedule an appointment!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.