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Unexpectedly Pregnant: “I Just Found Out There’s Another Woman in His Life”

Have you recently discovered there’s another woman in your partner’s life?  If so, the feelings you’re wrestling with today may be difficult to even describe.  You’re likely struggling with shock, anger, hurt, and a complicated mix of other emotions all at once.  Maybe you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy on top of all this… by the same person who cheated on you.  These circumstances may seem like way too much to even process.  Know that, despite all your emotional pain and confusion, you’re not alone.

Finding out your partner has another “significant other” in his life can be devastating.  That’s probably been true for you whether or not this other relationship has been sexual, but especially if it has been.  Avenue Women’s Center is here to meet you in this difficult space.  We provide first-step pregnancy services like medical-grade pregnancy tests and options consultations at no cost.  We’re fully committed to offering continuous emotional support, no matter your situation, throughout this pregnancy journey (and beyond, if you’d like).

Learn more about Avenue Women’s Center!  We’ve been partnering with individuals facing complex pregnancy circumstances since 1981.

Caring for Yourself

In the wake of this overwhelming news (about the other woman and the unexpected pregnancy), it’s important to care for your own physical and emotional needs first and foremost.  That may seem obvious.  But self-care can be easily overlooked when circumstances become extra-stressful.  You’re probably feeling a lot of raw emotions and questioning some things about your life that once felt straightforward and secure.  It’s okay not to put too much pressure on yourself during this difficult but temporary season.  You need time to process and heal emotionally (or at least, to take the first few steps in that journey).  There are many ways, big and small, to care for your own emotional needs.  Although self-care is bound to look unique for each individual, here are some broad guidelines that are vital for almost anyone whose relationship has suffered a breach of trust.

  • Give yourself time to let your circumstances and emotions sink in. The difficult feelings you’re wrestling with today may never fade completely.  Emotional healing may be a complex, years-long process.  It’s okay to navigate that road at your own pace.  However, if you’re just feeling blindsided right now, it may be wise to sit with your initial feelings of shock before making significant decisions about your relationship or your pregnancy.  First, create the conditions that you need to feel physically and emotionally safe.  Then, give yourself time and space to let your thoughts and feelings settle gradually.  Be encouraged by this: You won’t feel like you’re reeling forever.
  • Gather support. The importance of this cannot be overstated.  You need reliable, trustworthy, caring people to lean on.  Consider confiding in a close friend, family member, professional counselor, mentor, faith leader, or pregnancy consultant.  Your partner need not be a part of your support network right now, and that’s okay.

Regarding Your Pregnancy Decision

If you’re not already set on a pregnancy decision (for abortion, adoption, or parenting), it’s okay to put this choice to the side temporarily and focus on caring for yourself.  However, maybe you’re concerned about your timeline.  When finding out about an unexpected pregnancy, most women still have time to learn about and consider their options before some of those options become unavailable.  But what if this discovery about your partner’s cheating is causing you to view your whole situation in a different light?  For many women, the pregnancy decision-making process isn’t linear.  New information comes up that causes them to wrestle and re-wrestle with the possibilities available to them.  Our caring team at Avenue is here to navigate this entire process by your side if this has been true of your situation.

Even if you’re partway through a decision-making process and feeling a need to re-evaluate, you may have ample time to consider your next steps.  That time is valuable- whether you have a lot or a little.  Maybe you’re looking for clarity about how much time you have to process your pregnancy choice from this point on.  Avenue Women’s Center can help by offering a free limited medical ultrasound.  A scan can give information about how far along you are and what options are still available to you.  It can also evaluate your chances of miscarriage and identify where the pregnancy is located.  Having this information will equip you to safeguard your own health going forward, no matter which pregnancy option you choose down the road.

Avenue Women’s Center seeks to empower women by equipping them with reliable information and encouragement.  We’re passionate about helping individuals access a wide variety of resources, so they have everything they need to make the decision that’s best for them when the time is right.  Our approach is warm and deeply respectful.  Avenue is truly a safe place to come for unconditional support.

Call, text, chat, or email to connect with one of our compassionate expert team members!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.