For many people, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are holidays to “get through,” not to enjoy. That’s probably because some of us have complicated emotions tied to the concepts of “mother” and “father.” Is this true for you? Maybe your understanding of parenthood has been negatively influenced by difficult relationships with loved ones, or made complex by the discovery of an unexpected pregnancy.
Possibly, this late spring/early summer season has taken on a whole new meaning for you in light of recent pregnancy news. Mother’s Day, 2023 has passed, and perhaps you’re breathing a sigh of relief. But you know in the back of your head that leaving this holiday in the rearview doesn’t make your circumstances any less real. Father’s Day can be another emotionally triggering event.
Our caring staff at Avenue Women’s Center understands how challenging this can be to process. We’re an early pregnancy clinic that’s here to help you cope and access the accurate information you need to move forward. Avenue has been a trusted resource to individuals, couples, and families in Chicagoland and beyond since 1981.
Contact Avenue today! Most persons have time to seek insight before their pregnancy options become limited. Our expert team members can provide free, lab-quality first-step pregnancy services to help you learn where your stand.
Facing an Unexpected Pregnancy Around Father’s Day
If you’re going through an unexpected pregnancy, many factors may be shaping your view of Father’s Day. These are just a few possibilities.
- Maybe the person you became pregnant by isn’t actively involved or even present. Of course, this can be hurtful no matter what pregnancy option(s) (abortion, adoption, or parenting) you’re considering. If you’re leaning toward parenting, you may grieve the loss of his emotional and practical support on behalf of yourself and the baby. Perhaps you’re considering abortion or adoption even though you’d prefer to parent because your partner isn’t around.
- Maybe your own father hasn’t played an active role in your life. If he hasn’t, you may have complex and painful feelings about fatherhood that existed before this pregnancy. If parenting is on the table, perhaps you’re worried that the baby wouldn’t have a strong male role model.
- Maybe you have a partner who’s emotionally engaged, but you’re not on the same page with the upcoming pregnancy decision. Perhaps one of you wants to parent, but the other person doesn’t. You may be concerned about all the ways this could potentially create conflict.
Unexpected pregnancy circumstances and feelings about fatherhood are often very complex. You may be experiencing all of these dynamics or a combination of them. Chances are, holidays that celebrate parenthood are going to be painful reminders of the need to eventually make a pregnancy decision, no matter your circumstances.
Having someone trustworthy to confide in could make a world of difference. Consider processing your feelings about this upcoming holiday and your unexpected pregnancy with a close friend, family member, mentor, professional counselor, or pregnancy consultant. If you have a partner who’s on this pregnancy journey by your side, chances are, he’ll have some complex feelings of his own to manage too. Maybe it would be helpful (for both of you) to open a dialogue. Share your feelings about Father’s Day and how it’s uniquely influencing your pregnancy experience. Invite him to do the same.
Whether you choose to confide in your partner or someone else, accessing support will create an opportunity to receive encouragement and new insight. It will remind you that you’re not alone. It will allow you to feel surrounded by care on Father’s Day and all the days of your unexpected pregnancy. Remember, if you choose to continue this pregnancy, your baby wouldn’t necessarily need a “traditional” father-child relationship with a biological dad. Anyone who loves, encourages, and empowers can be family.
Mother’s Day may have been an uncomfortable, even emotionally painful experience this year. Father’s Day may have been hard to navigate as well. It may be comforting to remember that these holidays have passed. You have autonomy over how you choose to participate in them. And Avenue Women’s Center is available to provide emotional and practical support in the days and weeks ahead, no matter where your path leads.
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.