Like most people, I’m a big fan of fall in the Midwest. What’s not to love about colorful leaves, cozy flannel, and apple cider donuts? However, the cooler weather of autumn (which quickly becomes colder weather) can definitely be an adjustment. It’s a physical shock to the system and a sign of the coming winter.
Maybe you and your partner are going through the difficult season of an unexpected pregnancy right now. If his attitude toward you has gotten colder, this has probably been much harder to cope with than the changing temperatures. Perhaps you’re afraid that your relationship may be approaching a “winter season”. Don’t give up hope! It’s normal and natural for conflict to happen when both partners are under a lot of stress. You have tools available to protect your relationship (and maybe even grow it) while navigating this unexpected pregnancy.
At Avenue Women’s Center, we take a holistic approach to early pregnancy support. We understand that those we serve are coping with multiple stressors at once, and we strive to meet their comprehensive needs. If your relationships have been affected by an unexpected pregnancy, our expert team at Avenue is available to process this by your side. We offer free and confidential first-step pregnancy help at five locations in Chicagoland, Illinois.
Learn more about Avenue and our free early pregnancy services! We’re here to give you practical answers to your questions about your options, while providing emotional support no matter which path you choose.
Relationship Tension: A Normal Response to Stress
Needless to say, an unexpected pregnancy tends to be a highly stressful experience for everyone involved- especially the pregnant partner. It’s bound to put significant strain on any close relationship. While your circumstances are unique, it’s important to remember that all committed relationships go through seasons of testing, and everyone copes with stress differently. There’s no need to panic. The reasoning behind your partner’s attitude shift is probably different than you’re imagining, and less of a personal reflection on you. There are steps you can take to re-connect with him and maintain the health of your relationship, even in the middle of an unexpected pregnancy.
Tips to Keep Your Connection Strong
Healthy and intentional communication is key to navigating difficult seasons in a relationship. Consider these helpful tips from a Psychology Today article titled, “5 Ways Relationships Can Survive the Most Stressful Times”:
- “Discuss How You Each Respond to Stress.” As mentioned before, everyone has a unique way of coping with stress. Sometimes our different coping styles clash, causing misunderstanding and disconnect. Talking about your responses to stress will help you and your partner make sense of each other’s reactions (Psychology Today).
- “Remember to Repair.” When conflict inevitably happens, take time to listen and empathize with each other’s perspectives, even if you still disagree. According to Psychology Today, “What matters for relationships in the long run is not whether you have conflicts or not, but that you reconnect emotionally after the conflict subsides—doing what psychologists call repair.”
- “Be Explicit About Support.” There are different kinds of support (emotional and practical, for example). It can be beneficial for you and your partner to discuss what kind of support you need from each other in any given situation (Psychology Today).
- “Diversify Support.” Our physical and emotional reserves tend to get exhausted quickly when we’re under a lot of stress. If you and your partner are each other’s only support person, that’s a lot of pressure on your relationship. Be sure that you’re both including other trustworthy people in your support networks if at all possible (Psychology Today).
- “Notice and Celebrate Positive Moments.” Positive moments can be had and bonds can be built even under the hardest of circumstances. Encourage each other and cultivate gratitude by celebrating the good things, no matter how small (Psychology Today).
Consider talking with your partner about these tips and making them part of your day-to-day life. Chances are, if both of you are open to these practices, you’ll get through this difficult season together and possibly emerge stronger on the other side. It’s also important to accept that you’re only responsible for your own actions. Regardless of your partner’s response, you’re capable of making your own best pregnancy decision with courage and confidence. Avenue Women’s Center is here to support you in that journey by equipping you with the tools you need to navigate your next steps.
Call, text, chat, or email to speak with an expert team member! Our professional, approachable, non-judgmental staff is available to listen to your story.
*Avenue Women’s Center is a limited medical clinic that provides first-step pregnancy services and emotional support. We do not provide professional counseling services. However, we can refer individuals to professional counselors if needed or requested.
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Reference:
Psychology Today. (2022, November). 5 Ways Relationships Can Survive the Most Stressful Times. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-shared-existence/202211/5-ways-relationships-can-survive-the-most-stressful-times
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.