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“What Can I Do If My Spouse Doesn’t Agree With My Adoption Decision?”

Married couples can find themselves in an unexpected pregnancy situation. There may be concerns about being ready to embrace parenting. Or, you and your spouse may already have children. You might be worried about what having another child means for you both. In your case, perhaps you’re leaning toward forming an adoption plan. But what if your husband does not agree? Understandably, this can be frustrating. Couples faced with a sudden pregnancy may have different opinions on what to do. Reaching a decision can take time and require respectful collaboration. Where can you two go for help sorting through this challenging period?

Are you thinking about adoption, but your husband has other options in mind? Avenue Women’s Center is equipped to help couples throughout a variety of unexpected pregnancy situations. Our expert staff can sit down with you both to discuss abortion, adoption, and parenting. We understand a lot of emotions often go into making a pregnancy decision. That’s why we equip both you and your spouse for your next steps. During your appointment, we’ll ensure you both have the accurate information you need. It’s common to have questions. And that’s why we’re here to provide answers.

Contact us today to learn more about how you and your spouse can move forward with a decision!  

Why Might My Spouse Be Resistant to Adoption?

Deciding on a pregnancy option as a couple often requires being on the same page. Reaching an agreement with one another on what to do can take time. It’s recommended that you and your spouse do not rush this process. There may be a lot of complex feelings you both need to explore. The two of you may have a unique set of questions regarding what the journey ahead may look like.

In order to move forward, it can be worth it to explore each other’s needs.

Your spouse may be resistant to adoption for several reasons. If you and your husband need help to communicate, a professional resource can mediate a conversation. A counselor, a spiritual leader, or a pregnancy consultant can work with you both.

  • Just like you, he may be struggling with how he feels about the pregnancy. There may be a sense of denial about you being pregnant. He may still need time to accept the existence of this new situation. Because of this, he may still be uncertain about what to do.
  • Your spouse may feel upset over the current situation. He may be mad at himself if the two of you lack the finances for another child. Perhaps he’s experiencing a lot of tense emotions because he feels a sense of responsibility. It may be helpful to allow him a bit of space. Then pursue a discussion about the pregnancy when you both are ready.
  • His resistance to forming an adoption plan may stem from misunderstandings. Your spouse may be hesitant to consider adoption because he lacks more information. This may have led to fears about going through with it. To alleviate some of his anxieties, the two of you may want to ask questions of a professional resource.
  • Perhaps he’s thinking about other pregnancy options. You might be drawn to adoption. But what if he wants to consider abortion or parenting? Until you’ve resolved this, it’s recommended you wait before committing to a decision.

Help With Agreeing on an Adoption Decision

A professional resource can help identify where both of your needs are. Try not to repress what you may be feeling from one another. Otherwise, tensions may quietly build, potentially leading to conflict. Or, misunderstands can arise if one party is not clear on what their spouse needs from them.

Figuring out what to do in this situation can be a journey. But establishing a solid pattern of communication can help you support one another. You both may have questions and feel scared about what to do. By working with one another, you and your partner can work toward a mutual solution.

Is your spouse nervous about going through with an adoption? Avenue Women’s Center can meet with both of you to answer any of your unexpected pregnancy questions. Our expert staff will provide you with reliable information about each of your options. We can also listen to your concerns about adoption and connect you to resources for your next step. Each of our locations in DuPage County offers a safe environment for you and your spouse to talk openly about your feelings. By helping to manage a conversation between you two, our staff can offer counsel about your choices.

Reach out today for help with crafting a pregnancy plan!



  • American Adoptions. Supportive Birth Fathers, Married Couples Choosing Adoption. Retrieved from:

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.