Do you feel like parenting wouldn’t be a good option for you because it would likely mean missing out on a major opportunity? You may be leaning this way for all kinds of different reasons. Perhaps continuing the pregnancy would require you to set an athletic scholarship to the side. Or, maybe you were just offered a big promotion at work, and you can’t imagine taking on this responsibility and parenting duties at the same. It’s also possible that you’re thinking about future opportunities that aren’t quite as specific. Maybe you’re worried that parenting would mean delaying your college graduation or significant travel plans (at least temporarily).
Even if a part of you is drawn to the idea of parenting, this may seem like an option that you can’t afford to consider. Know that many women who are facing an unexpected pregnancy experience a very similar thought process. You’re definitely not alone! Since 1981, Avenue Women’s Center has been partnering with individuals who’ve found themselves in these shoes. We’re a free first-step pregnancy clinic with five locations in Chicagoland. Our mission is to provide the information and support that you need to identify your own best pregnancy outcome and step into the future with confidence.
Learn more about our free and confidential early pregnancy services!
Be Sincere with Yourself
It’s healthy to ask yourself honest questions about your pregnancy situation, and to give yourself honest answers. Consider what you genuinely want for this pregnancy (abortion, adoption, or parenting). What would your desires be if the circumstances were less complicated? How do your values, instincts, feelings, and deeply held beliefs pull you towards certain possibilities, and why do you think they have this effect? Let’s be real. These can sometimes be painful questions to consider, and the answers don’t always align with the outcome that seems most practical. But pushing these influences to the side won’t cancel them out. It’s better to acknowledge where your heart and mind are truly at, and figure out your next best steps from there.
Don’t Underestimate What You’re Capable Of
As your decision-making process continues, try to avoid making assumptions about what you can and can’t accomplish. You’re a uniquely gifted individual who’s probably capable of far more courage and resiliency than she realizes. You also have resources available to you (medical, financial, educational, etc.), not to mention legal rights as a pregnant person in the U.S. Title IX is a federal law that, “prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex—including pregnancy and parental status—in educational programs and activities” (U.S. Department of Education). So, if you’re a student and you decide to continue your pregnancy, your school is legally required to make certain accommodations for you. Other laws like the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act (PWFA) offer protections around pregnancy, childbirth, and related conditions for women in the workplace (U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission).
All that to say, research your rights and options thoroughly. If parenting is a possibility that you genuinely feel drawn to, you can explore potential ways to make this work and still pursue your important opportunities.
How Can Avenue Women’s Center Help?
Avenue Women’s Center is here to support you throughout this entire process by acting as a sounding board and providing accurate information about your options and resources. We’re also available to offer key information about your pregnancy, which could play a critical role in clarifying your next steps. For example, a limited medical ultrasound at Avenue can determine your chances of miscarriage and whether or not you need to seek medical attention for an ectopic pregnancy (a pregnancy located outside of the uterus). All our services are provided at no cost!
It can be frustrating and discouraging to anticipate an exciting new opportunity, only to realize that unexpected circumstances could place hurdles in your path. Our expert team at Avenue would love to help you maneuver around or leap over those obstacles. We value how important and meaningful your goals and dreams are to you. We value you as a whole person with complex feelings and desires, who’s trying to make her own best pregnancy decision. Believe that you have what it takes to reach a positive outcome.
Reach out to Avenue Women’s Center! We promise you’ll be met with warmth, authenticity, and professionalism.
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References:
U.S. Department of Education Office for Civil Rights. (2020, January). Know Your Rights: Pregnant or Parenting? Title IX Protects You From Discrimination At School. Retrieved from: https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/dcl-know-rights-201306-title-ix.html
U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. What You Should Know About the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act. Retrieved from: https://www.eeoc.gov/wysk/what-you-should-know-about-pregnant-workers-fairness-act
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.