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When the Response You Receive is Not What You Expected

Pregnancy can bring about a lot of responses and opinions from those around us. This article will discuss those times when others’ responses weren’t what you expected. From the happy to the infuriating, how do we handle responses that throw us for a loop?

Avenue Women’s Center is a women’s limited medical clinic providing services for those facing unplanned pregnancy in the Chicagoland area. Regardless of others’ responses, we are here for you. From medical grade pregnancy tests to confirm (or un-confirm) your pregnancy, to confidential pregnancy consultations with our experienced client advocates, we help you navigate the next steps in your pregnancy decision. Contact us today for your free appointment.

Sometimes we think we know how someone will react or respond to a situation or to something we might share with them. Often we play out in our mind the course we anticipate an encounter or a conversation will take. Sometimes, we’re really surprised.

Perhaps we turn to a trusted friend or family member whom we count on to have our back, whatever the circumstance. We’re depending on them to be supportive at a time when we so need that. It’s disheartening, to say the least, when that person ends up responding negatively. It’s not what you expected. What do you do?

An initial reaction may be to respond in kind, but wait a bit. If this is a relationship you value, avoid a comeback that will damage it even more. It’s not your responsibility to change their opinion. Neither is it up to them to tell you what to do. It may be wise to ease away for a time. Perhaps your response will be something like this: “I’m so sorry we’re coming at this from two different places. I appreciate your concern for me. I know that ultimately this is something I need to figure out for myself. Thank you for caring about me.”

What if the other person totally writes you off? Could a relationship be lost as a result of the pregnancy? It may happen. You can’t control the responses or actions of another. What you can do, however, is to try your hardest not to be a bridge-burner. Defensiveness, anger, or bitterness may creep in and attempt to put a permanent lock on a door which seems in danger of being closed. Remember again: your pregnancy decisions and whatever follows are yours to live out. If you care about that person, stay open in hope of reconciliation at sometime in the future.

Although we’ve looked at potential negative responses, it’s also possible you might be surprised in another way. Is there someone else in your life you feel certain would disown you over the pregnancy? This might be the person who is happy for you, positive and ready to give you the support you need.

Does any of these scenarios ring true for you? Perhaps even more than one? What do you do when the response you receive is not what you expected? Knowing ahead of time that responses might be not what you expected may prepare you better to receive whatever responses you encounter.

Since an unplanned pregnancy is not what you expected, it’s not surprising that there are uncertainties—and some tough decisions—before you. One thing is certain: you do not need to make this unexpected journey alone.

For thirty-seven years, Avenue Women’s Center has been in existence as the first step for women in the Chicagoland area facing circumstances just like these. We are a non-profit limited women’s clinic offering needed services for unplanned pregnancy, many at no cost to you. May we be of assistance to you in this challenging, possibly confusing time, as you search to find the best solutions for your situation? Please contact us and allow us to accompany you as you navigate the course ahead of you.

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.