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Boyfriend Says Get Rid of It

So you just found out you are pregnant. You tell your boyfriend and right away he says he doesn’t want it and will not support it. You’re overwhelmed and confused about what you should do. What do you do when your boyfriend says to “get rid of it?”

Is your boyfriend or partner not supportive? You don’t have to navigate this decision alone. Avenue Women’s Center has been helping women who are facing unplanned pregnancies in the Chicagoland area for over 36 years. Our caring client advocates have come alongside thousands of women who are in similar situations. Contact us today to schedule your free consultation.

When your boyfriend says “get rid of it,” you have several things to take into consideration. Relationships can be tricky and they don’t always go as planned. What steps can you take to help work through this situation?

First of all, figure out what YOU want to do about the pregnancy. The people around us are entitled to their opinion, especially those who are directly affected, such as your boyfriend or immediate family. However, at the end of the day, each woman has to make a decision for herself. The decision will impact others, yet it will primarily impact YOU. What would you like to do?

  • Gather some information about all of your options. Research information online about parenting, adoption, and abortion from trusted sources. Schedule an appointment at a pregnancy care center or another agency that will provide reliable information regarding your options. (If you are in the Chicago area, Avenue Women’s Center can help.)
  • Don’t feel rushed into a decision right away. As women, as soon as we find out we’re pregnant; it’s tempting not to come up with a game plan immediately. Depending on how far along you are, you have some time to let some of the initial stress and reactivity die down so that you can make an informed decision.
  • Talk with people you trust. If your boyfriend is feeling very strongly about the situation, perhaps there is someone else you can process the decision with. It can also be helpful to share with a third party who is not directly involved. A private pregnancy consultation is one of the services that Avenue Women’s Center provides. Here, you can process through your decision with an expert who is not directly impacted by the situation.

Once you have your part figured out, then you need to ask yourself what role your boyfriend or partner plays in all of this. Is this relationship important? Do you want it to continue? If so, how can you work through this together?

If you reached a decision different than your boyfriend’s, you will need to take some time to discuss this together.

  • Help him see from your perspective. Discuss what you discovered about your options and how each choice might impact you or your relationship.
  • Listen to the factors that may be motivating him. Is it finances? Is it his own fear or insecurity? Was it just his initial gut reaction? Take some time to learn what is going on inside his head.
  • Share with him your understanding, yet still communicate your plan for moving forward. Ideally, at the end, you will both agree, yet sometimes no matter how much you talk it out, you will reach different conclusions. That is ok. Remember, this is ultimately your decision.

Avenue Women’s Center is here to help. Call, text or email us today to schedule a pregnancy consultation at one of our five DuPage County locations—Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, Naperville, West Chicago, and Wood Dale, Illinois. Let us help you navigate this decision by providing you with support and information. Contact us to set up an appointment with one of our caring client advocates right away. We’re here for you.

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.