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When Your Partner Is Indifferent to Your Upcoming Pregnancy Decision

If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, you may already know how challenging it can be to navigate a situation like this within the context of a romantic relationship.  It’s normal for a partner to have a strong emotional response when pregnancy news is first shared, or when he doesn’t support the pregnancy decision(s) his significant other is considering.  Raw reactions of anger, stress, or disappointment from someone like a boyfriend or spouse can naturally trigger added stress.  But maybe your partner’s response has been the complete opposite.  Maybe his response to your upcoming pregnancy decision has been indifference.  Circumstances like yours can be difficult to cope with and respond to for unique reasons.

Does it seem like your partner doesn’t care about your pregnancy decision, whether you’re leaning toward abortion, adoption, or parenting?  Perhaps he has an unconcerned attitude about which option you decide to pursue, and how it could potentially affect your life and the lives of others (including himself).  This kind of reaction can be confusing, hurtful, and frustrating.  Know that you have the strength to identify your best way forward and embrace it, no matter how your partner is responding to you and your pregnancy decision.  Avenue Women’s Center is here to provide emotional and practical support as you figure this out one step at a time.

Learn more about Avenue Women’s Center and our free first-step pregnancy services!

“Why is My Partner Acting Like This?”

If your partner seems indifferent about your upcoming pregnancy decision, there are a few possible reasons why he’s acting this way:

  • He really does care about your pregnancy decision-making process and which path you end up choosing. Maybe he has his own desires for the future of this pregnancy.  But he’s so overwhelmed that he just doesn’t know how to process what he’s feeling and thinking.  He’s numb.  And from an outside perspective, this can look a lot like apathy.
  • Your pregnancy decision holds meaning for him, but he doesn’t have a very expressive personality. Maybe he’s a little reserved and prefers to process his thoughts and feelings internally instead of out loud.  Sometimes, a person with this kind of temperament can come across as indifferent although he really does care.
  • He really is responding with coldness and a genuine lack of concern. If that’s the case, he may be someone with serious character flaws.  He may believe that your pregnancy outcome will impact him very little, and may not be considering anyone else.

All of these possible scenarios can be upsetting for a person experiencing an unexpected pregnancy, especially the last.  You were probably hoping your partner would be a steady source of support.  Maybe you even wanted him to play an active role in your decision-making process.  It’s understandable that you would expect some feedback from him.

Tips to Help Engage Your Partner

Consider trying some of these approaches to support your partner as he cares for his own emotional needs while rising to the challenge of meeting you in this difficult space.

  • Give him time and space to process his emotions. Maybe plan a time to revisit this subject once he’s had the opportunity to reflect.
  • Express your own thoughts and feelings at an appropriate time, within a calm, private, distraction-free environment. Invite him to do the same by asking open-ended questions.  Listen with a posture of empathy.
  • Communicate your desires and expectations regarding his role in your pregnancy journey and decision-making process. If you value his perspective, tell him so.

It’s possible that your partner just isn’t a caring guy.  If not, these tips probably won’t go very far, because the problem is rooted inside him, and only he can change that.  It may be time to re-evaluate this relationship and assess whether or not he’s a healthy person for you.  Look to your own physical and emotional wellness first and foremost!  Remember, this pregnancy decision has always been yours to make.  Every woman is fully capable of discovering her own best outcome- with or without a partner.

Whatever the future may have in store for your relationship, there are tons of practical steps that you can take here and now to empower yourself for your pregnancy decision.  That’s where Avenue Women’s Center comes in.  We provide no-cost early pregnancy services (like lab-quality pregnancy tests and options consultations) to help persons experiencing an unexpected pregnancy receive all the information and encouragement they need to move forward with confidence.  Our expert staff members respect your autonomy completely.  It’s our role to equip you for the days ahead and be an ongoing source of emotional support no matter which path you choose.

Schedule an appointment at one of Avenue’s six limited medical clinics today!  We’ve been responding to unexpected pregnancy needs with warmth and professionalism since 1981!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.