One of the important stages of pregnancy that is not often addressed is the question: when should I tell people about my pregnancy and who should I tell?
If you are considering who to trust with news of an unplanned pregnancy, please consider trusting Avenue Women’s Center. Our staff is here because we care about women and their unique situations. We provide our expertise within free consultations that are nonjudgmental, confidential, and centered around your personal needs. If establishing who to trust is one of your needs, we can even process through your options, if that would be helpful to you. Whatever you most want to discuss regarding abortion, adoption, or parenting – we are here for you.
The answer to your question about who to trust depends on your circumstance and you as an individual. We all have known people who are “sharers.” Anything that happens in their life – or yours – good, bad or indifferent is shared with anyone that is within earshot. And of course there are the women who are more private and deliberate about who they share news with and when. Most of us may find that we fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum.
I think a key focus as we discuss this issue is the word “trust”. If the news of your pregnancy is not something you want spread around to everyone it is important to identify people in your life that have proven they are trustworthy. Avoid the school/work gossiper. They have that reputation for good reason. People do not really change so count on the fact if you share with the gossiper, everyone else will know as well.
Look around your circle of family and friends for those who have supported and stood by your side in the past. Choose people who care about you as they will be looking out for your best interest not theirs. Be upfront that you want this to be kept private for now as you navigate this stage in your life. As you become more comfortable with your direction, you can always add others to your inner circle of friends that you want to tell your news. I would also caution you to take your time as this does not need to be communicated to everyone right away.
Think about whether the people you are considering can be neutral. Would they strongly advocate for abortion? For parenting? For adoption? Certainly, consider the reasons that someone who knows you would feel so strongly about one option. But, in the end, your pregnancy decision is yours alone. Until you’ve made it, you may not want to disclose what’s going on to people who will pressure you. Perhaps, if they’re important to you, you do want to disclose your news… after you’ve made a plan for how you will respond to their opinions.
Consider what you want to receive from the people you tell. Are you looking for neutral support? Do you want a cheerleader to help you along the path you’ve already chosen? After you identify what you want to receive, ask yourself: Is this person likely to provide that? You may even want to help them meet your needs by telling them what they are. For example: “I want to share something with you. I don’t need anyone to jump in and try to fix things. I really need a listener….”
You can trust Avenue Women’s Center. We have served Chicagoland women for over 35 years, and our reputation is stellar. After receiving services and care, our clients often refer their own friends to us. We stand by all of our clients, assisting them with pregnancy and abortion information, and providing them with confidential support as they make the decisions that are best in their situations.
Come talk to us. We would love to help you.The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.