It seems most of us have found ourselves on an afternoon watching way more of a cheesy Lifetime movie than we should have. We are drawn in as a child wrestles with his parent’s adoption decision and wonders who his “real parents” are, what are they like. Our heart strings are tugged as the adoptive family shares angry words and tears when the child decides to find his birthparents. While it’s true that some of these movies could do with some better acting and a few less overly sentimental one-liners, these feelings and family struggles are real and should not be downplayed. Forming an adoption plan is hard!
The good news is that it doesn’t have to look like a bad movie. Today it’s common for adoption agencies to work with adoptive parents and birth mothers to plan what’s called an “open adoption.” This plan means the birth mother can choose to be a part of her child’s life, have a relationship with him or her, share memories and watch them grow. The birth mother has a lot of control—she can pick out the family she sees as best for her child after interviewing them and building a relationship with them. From there, decisions are made together. Does she want to visit regularly? Be a part of her child’s birthday parties, soccer games, piano recitals, and graduations? The child can grow knowing that they are loved by their birth mother and that she made a difficult but loving choice in the hopes of a better life for her child.
Adoption can be a selfless and loving choice that enriches two families with a precious gift and a lot of love. Before you write off adoption due to a negative impression from something on television or even in real life know that you can form an adoption plan and have your child know you love them.
Guest blog by Esther B.
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