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Considering Abortion to Save My Relationship, Part 1

I thought he and I were in a good place.  I thought our future together was secure.  Now, a positive result on a pregnancy test is turning my world upside down.  How is our relationship ever going to survive this?  Sorting through your thoughts and feelings around an unexpected pregnancy is complicated enough.  Understanding and empathizing with a partner’s reactions might seem nearly impossible, especially when those reactions are mostly negative or out of alignment with your own.  News of an unexpected pregnancy is bound to trigger a response from your significant other that comes from his own hopes and fears.  Some women may find themselves blindsided by an ultimatum: “Get an abortion, or it’s over.”  Others may receive a more open-minded, unsure, or supportive reaction.  Yet, there may be concerns that carrying to term will ultimately result in a breakup.  And fear can have an impact on a woman’s pregnancy decision.

At Avenue Women’s Center, we understand that an unexpected pregnancy can drastically disrupt your most significant relationships, including the connection you’ve built with your partner.  You may be receiving pressure from him, from others, or even from yourself to make a specific choice about your pregnancy to save the relationship.  Our pregnancy consultants are here to lend a listening ear.  Visit one of our centers for a free and confidential pregnancy consultation, to learn more about your various options and resources.

Reach out to us!  We would love to meet with you at one of our six locations in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, Naperville, West Chicago, or Wood Dale, Illinois.

Understandably, He Means a Lot to You

If you’re considering abortion to save your relationship, this probably means it’s really important to you.  And it makes perfect sense that this relationship would be a meaningful one.  Perhaps you’ve already invested time and energy into getting to know your partner. You understand his needs and have built a strong connection.  Maybe he’s your closest companion and you can’t imagine going through life without him.  Whether you’ve been together for years or only a brief time, perhaps you truly love him.  It seems natural that his response to the news of your unexpected pregnancy would impact you emotionally and possibly influence your pregnancy decision.

Navigating Difficult Conversations with Your Partner

Having conversations with a partner about your unexpected pregnancy can often feel unnerving and disheartening.  Like you, your partner may feel as though he is stepping into an unfamiliar, overwhelming new reality.  Initial reactions may include shock, anger, disappointment, criticism, sorrow, anticipation, or a host of other responses.  Sometimes it may take a while for these reactions to appear.  When we try to process significant and unexpected information we can experience a wide range of emotions.  By offering your partner the time and space that he needs to reflect upon and express his thoughts and feelings, you communicate respect.  Empathy plays a vital role in creating a mutually healthy dialogue.  The emotions behind your partner’s reaction are valid. They often result from his own experiences, temperament, and worldview.  Likewise, you deserve to be treated with this same demonstration of empathy and respect by your partner.  If needed, set boundaries by kindly communicating that pregnancy-related decisions are ultimately yours to make. You’ll likely need time, information, and support to make choices without regret.

In Considering Abortion to Save My Relationship Part 2, we’ll explore how to establish a healthy mindset while making pregnancy decisions.  We’ll also consider those difficult situations in which a partner is demanding that you make a particular choice.  At Avenue Women’s Center, we can offer a safe space for you to explore your options.

If you’re considering abortion to save your relationship, check out our next segment, and schedule an appointment at one of our six locations in DuPage County, IL.




The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.