According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, to be in “limbo” means to be in, “a state of uncertainty.” Some religious traditions describe “Limbo” as a sort of waiting place between life and heaven (Merriam-Webster). In a similar way, the stretch of time that begins with a positive test result and ends with a pregnancy choice can feel like an awkward, uncertain “in-between” phase. Waiting for clarity on how to move forward is almost always an uncomfortable experience. However, sometimes you have to embrace the waiting in order to ultimately discover your own best path. As your own pregnancy journey continues, know that this sense of being in limbo won’t last forever. But taking the time that you need to gather information and process your emotions will be key to choosing an outcome you can look back on with confidence.
Although Spring officially kicks off in March, here in Chicagoland, April often feels like a Winter-to-Spring “limbo” period. It’s hard to wait for consistently warm temperatures, sunnier days, and- most importantly- an end to the snow. Maybe you’re struggling with an unexpected pregnancy and feeling stuck between two seasons: Life before pregnancy, and an uncertain future. Avenue Women’s Center is here to help! We’re a first-step pregnancy clinic that’s all about providing the information and support women need to make their own best decisions. As you engage in your decision-making process, we can equip you with valuable tools, so you can cope well with uncertainty while pursuing clarity and direction.
Contact Avenue Women’s Center today! Our free and confidential services include, but are not limited to, medical-grade pregnancy tests, options consultations, and limited medical ultrasounds.
Waiting: Why is It So Difficult?
Why is waiting so uncomfortable for most of us? Because we humans crave certainty. We long to know what lays ahead, so we can establish a clear sense of direction and plan for the future. When we’re unable to evaluate what’s next, we tend to feel anxious and frustrated. That’s just how we’re wired! An article from Psychology Today puts it this way: “One reason why waiting can be so hard is that often the outcome of whatever we are waiting for determines our next steps… With knowing comes the possibility of movement. And with not knowing, we feel stuck- as if life is on pause.” This sense of being stuck can feel especially unbearable during times of intense stress, when our survival instincts are telling us to act now. So, waiting can cause emotional pain as well as practical roadblocks. It seems to rub against our very nature.
Your Waiting Process Can Be Productive (If You Let It)
Does any of this mean that waiting is bad for us, or that it should be avoided? No, not necessarily. Waiting and uncertainty are inevitable aspects of life. We can actually use these uncomfortable experiences to our own advantage. Often, pushing the pause button on major decisions allows us to collect our thoughts and re-approach the problem with greater mental clarity. It’s also important to remember that waiting is not the same thing as standing still. There are steps you can take during a waiting process, which can bring you closer to answering the question, “Which outcome is right for me?” Utilizing your own waiting period effectively can result in a healthier choice that stands the test of time. So, don’t try to escape the reality of an uncertain future. Lean into it. Let it motivate you to ask thought-provoking questions and reflect on your own values and beliefs. You owe it to yourself to engage in a strong, thoughtful, unrushed decision-making process.
*Check out our blog, “A Letter to the One Who Waits.” It applies to women who are waiting for an appointment with Avenue, and those who are waiting on a pregnancy outcome in general.
How to Cope with “Being in Limbo”
You have what it takes to make peace with uncertainty while you’re waiting for insight into your best pregnancy outcome (which will come when you seek it out). Consider some of these tips from Psychology Today to help you cope with this “in-between” stage of your journey.
“Distraction.”
Try engaging in activities that bring you joy and purpose. Spend some fun, laidback quality time with friends and loved ones. Being thoughtful and intentional in your decision-making process is important. But you also need to give yourself a mental break sometimes in order to stay healthy!
“Reversal.”
Psychology Today advises, “Imagine ways in which the desired outcome could bring negative consequences. Seeing the dark side as well as the bright can help you consider how the seemingly undesirable could become an opportunity.” With an unexpected pregnancy, it may be harder than usual to assess which outcome you desire. Some women find themselves feeling drawn to options in some ways, and rejecting those same options in other ways. Consider weighing the pros and cons of all three pregnancy options: abortion, adoption, and parenting. Look for potential unexpected opportunities. Keep an open mind and a balanced perspective.
“Examine markers along your road.”
Identify the steps you’ll need to take from now until your goal (a positive pregnancy outcome) is reached. Research the processes and risks involved with all your options to make an informed decision. Learn about your unique pregnancy (how far along you are, the likelihood of miscarriage, etc.). This kind of information will determine which pregnancy option(s) you’re eligible for. Avenue can help you with all of this at no cost!
“Self-compassion.”
Learn to recognize your own exhaustion when you see it, and give your body the rest and nourishment it needs. As the Psychology Today article points out, by giving yourself a break, “you are allowing time for forces that are beyond your control to help steer you in a helpful direction. The universe has a way of gently pointing us onto new paths, knowing perhaps better than we do when we are ready for a nudge towards an unexpected future. Those are the moments when skill at listening to our hearts can bring miracles.”
For most women, an unexpected pregnancy is a deeply complex experience. It can take time to process the intense and sometimes contradictory emotions that often come with this discovery. If you don’t yet feel confident in any of your pregnancy options, that’s okay. You’re in good company! Chances are, this simply means that you need more time to consider your next steps. Avenue Women’s Center is here to give you reliable facts about your body and options while acting as a supportive, neutral sounding board. Most people who are facing circumstances like yours have more time than they realize to pause and evaluate. Let us help you identify your unique timeframe, and how to use this waiting period as effectively as possible.
Learn more about Avenue and reach out to us! We’ve been a trusted service provider in Chicagoland since 1981. Our limited medical clinics are located in Darien, Elmhurst, Glen Ellyn / Lombard, West Chicago, and Wood Dale, Illinois.
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References:
Merriam-Webster. (2025, March). Limbo. Retrieved from: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/limbo
Psychology Today. (2020, November). 5 Ways to Manage the Waiting Game. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-we-are/202011/5-ways-to-manage-the-waiting-game
Psychology Today. (2020, June). 6 Tips to Deal With the Frustration of Waiting. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-refracted/202006/6-tips-to-deal-with-the-frustration-of-waiting
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.