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“I’m Aborting if the Pregnancy is a Certain Gender”

It’s normal for a person to have complex emotions and incentives behind her choice for abortion, adoption, or parenting.  This can be true for many different reasons.  For some, the gender of the pregnancy is one factor that has a huge influence on the decision-making process.  Maybe you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy and feeling confident that you’ll abort if it turns out to be a specific sex.  Perhaps you’re planning to confirm this through testing or an ultrasound, then take your next steps accordingly.  You probably have some complex and deeply rooted feelings about gender if this is true for you.  Because this matter holds so much personal significance, maybe you owe it to yourself to explore these feelings a bit further.

Avenue Women’s Center exists to support and empower individuals facing the hardest of pregnancy situations.  We believe in helping people engage in well-rounded decision-making processes, leaning into their values and instincts while learning about their unique pregnancies.  We’re committed to providing accurate information on all your options and resources.  No judgment.  No pressure.  Just reliable facts and caring support. 

Call, text, chat, or email to speak with an expert staff member and ask us your questions!

Processing Your Feelings in a Safe Environment

If you have complex feelings about a specific gender or gender overall, these feelings have likely been shaped in part by experiences and relationships you’ve had in life.  Complicated emotions surrounding gender, an unexpected pregnancy, or anything else of significance can be hard to understand and even harder to face.  It’s important, though, not to put these aside when you’re processing an important decision.  Acknowledge these feelings and reflect on them.  Ask yourself where they’re coming from and what it’s like for you to experience them.  Doing so could offer valuable self-insight for your pregnancy decision and many other circumstances and choices that you encounter in life.

One of the best ways to process feelings and incentives is to share them with someone caring and trustworthy.  Opening up to the right person could be an opportunity to view your situation from a different perspective, receive support, and understand yourself on a deeper level.  Consider confiding in someone you trust about your pregnancy.  Maybe engage in a conversation about gender and other things that matter to you as well.  Process how your feelings and experiences are influencing you within a safe, supportive context.

Other Factors to Consider

Your feelings about gender are meaningful and important, and so are other factors connected to your decision-making process.  As your journey continues, consider these dynamics.

  • It’s vital for a person’s values, beliefs, and instincts to help inform her decision-making process. Your feelings about gender are probably closely linked with all of these, but your values, beliefs, and instincts are likely more multi-faceted than that.  Contemplate the other things that hold deep importance for you and drive you.
  • Depending on where things stand with your pregnancy, you may not have to make a pregnancy decision. It can be really beneficial to assess the circumstances and risks involved with your unique pregnancy.  If it’s located outside of the uterus (called an ectopic pregnancy), it wouldn’t be viable, and you’d need to get prompt medical attention beyond an abortion.  A limited medical ultrasound at Avenue Women’s Center can provide this information.  Our scans can also evaluate your chances of miscarriage.
  • Human beings are complex. No two people are the same, and none of us fits into a box.  Sometimes, we draw conclusions about genders and other groups based on our life experiences.  This is natural, but not healthy.  Be careful not to project your feelings about a specific person or situation onto the world at large.  Keep an open mind.  Care for yourself by getting support when you sense that something negative in your past has a grip on your present.

It’s key for a person to feel confident in her choice for abortion, adoption, or parenting before she moves forward.  While confidence is a good thing overall, it can be relied on the most when it’s grounded in reliable facts, careful consideration, and a strong base of emotional support.  Our compassionate pregnancy consultants and nurses at Avenue are here to equip you with all of these.  We’ve been a trusted provider of early pregnancy support to individuals from Chicagoland and beyond for over forty years, and we’re available to partner with you on your own journey.

Check out our website and reach out today!

Explore another one of our blogs that touches on this topic, “Considering Abortion: ‘I’m Afraid to Have a Certain Gender”

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.