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I'm only choosing abortion because of my boyfriend

Growing up I never pictured myself getting pregnant before I got married, but it happened. I met this awesome guy, and all my friends wanted to date him—but he picked me. I couldn’t believe it. How did I get so lucky? It wasn’t long into the relationship before we started having sex. I felt so close to him. We hardly ever used birth control, but he assured me we didn’t need to worry about it. Besides, he said he loved me. Then, I missed my period. My heart stopped. Could I possibly be pregnant? I took a test at home and it was positive. I didn’t know what to do.

What do you do if you’re unexpectedly pregnant? It can be overwhelming to take the start making a pregnancy decision if you’re not sure whether you want to abort or continue the pregnancy. Avenue Women’s Center helps women take the first steps by providing free pregnancy tests and private consultations to discuss your options with one of our caring and nonjudgmental staff members. We take the time to understand your unique situation and provide information about each of your options to help you make a pregnancy decision that’s best for you. Schedule an appointment today at one of our locations in Chicago’s western suburbs.

I had always wanted children. I was young, but I felt like we could make this work. Excitement for the future entered my mind. I met with my boyfriend after work to give him the good news. I explained that the test was positive, and then I watched as his eyes turned toward the floor. I heard him take a deep breath. “We’re too young to have a baby,” he said. “I’ve got plans to go to school. You know that!” He seemed threatened by the idea of fatherhood, and he sounded scared and angry.

My head began to spin. What exactly was he saying? Was he saying he didn’t want this baby? The more we talked, the more I realized that’s exactly what he was saying. I was saddened that the man I loved was declaring that he didn’t want his own child. I began to cry. “If you cry, I’ll leave you,” he said. “You can have other children later in life, this isn’t fair to me. Don’t force this on me.”

I couldn’t fall asleep that night. I just tossed and turned. I hadn’t thought much about abortion before. It was alright for other women, but not for me. In the morning, I knew in my heart that I’d lose him if I kept this baby and he’d be gone. I loved him, I wanted us to stay together, and that’s when I decided to abort. I felt sadness creep into my life. This wasn’t what I was hoping for, but it was what he wanted. I desperately wanted to please him. I hoped that this abortion would save our relationship—it had to! But what if it didn’t …?

If you’re feeling pressured into a pregnancy decision, it can be helpful to ask yourself some important questions to learn if your choice is truly what’s best for you and life ahead.

  • What are your honest feelings about this pregnancy option?
  • Are you feeling conflicted about it? If so, what are some of the reasons?
  • Are you thinking heavily about others’ opinions/pressures (well-meaning or not)?
  • Is this a choice based on temporary situations that could change?
  • What could life look like if you chose this option versus other options?

Relationships can often influence pregnancy decisions. But you should never feel pressured to choose an option that you aren’t completely comfortable with—whether it’s continuing or aborting a pregnancy. If you’re only considering abortion because you feel pressured to, Avenue Women’s Center can offer you a judgement-free environment to address your concerns. When you contact us, you’ll reach a compassionate and understanding staff trained in helping women face pregnancy decisions. Our free pregnancy consultations are never rushed, allowing you time to discuss your options and gain the information you need to make your own decision without outside pressures. Call, text, chat, or email us today to set up your appointment!

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.

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