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Managing Anger During an Unexpected Pregnancy – Part 2

If you’re currently going through an unexpected pregnancy or any stressful life event, you may be struggling to get strong feelings like anger under control.  Maybe you’ve already browsed Part 1, which introduced this topic and explored how you never need to feel ashamed of anger that’s managed well.  Part 1 also began a dialogue about anger management techniques to help you cope with anger in the moment.  In Part 2, we’re going to continue this conversation about anger management methods.  Let’s first discuss a healthy approach to processing anger!

Understanding and expressing your anger in a positive, constructive way is much easier said than done!  It’s a skill that you’ll probably need time to develop.  However, by learning the value of this process and anger management techniques, you’ll be well on your way.  Our caring staff at Avenue Women’s Center is available to offer a listening ear and helpful resources as you manage these circumstances and consider your next steps.

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Processing Anger in a Healthy Way

If you’re managing an unexpected pregnancy, you may be feeling angry for a variety of reasons.  Perhaps you’re mad at your partner for his part in this situation.  Or, your family, for failing to respond to your pregnancy news in the way you needed them to.  Maybe you’re mad at yourself.  The source (or sources) of your anger may or may not be obvious right away.  But it’s important to understand where your feelings are coming from, to gain self-awareness, and learn to cope well.  It may be especially beneficial to process your anger when you’re feeling relaxed.  Time and calm self-reflection can produce valuable insight.  Keep in mind that other emotions, like sadness and fear, can often be found beneath anger.  It might help to identify those feelings and express them in a respectful way to the person you’re angry with.  This could even be an opportunity to deepen the relationship!

Anger Management Techniques Part 2

In the heat of the moment, it can be challenging to cope with anger and communicate clearly but kindly.  We began to review some practical anger management methods from Mayo Clinic in Part 1.  Let’s continue the conversation!

Use “I” statements.

Chances are, you understand your own thoughts, feelings, and motivations better than the other person’s.  So, it’s appropriate to communicate how you’re feeling affected.  “You” statements tend to place blame and cause the other person to feel defensive or misunderstood.  Examples of “You” statements include, “You never do this,” or, “You made me feel that.”  Try saying something that feels less confrontational and more neutral, like, “I felt upset because it seemed like you weren’t meeting my needs in that moment.”

Avoid a grudge.

Try not to reflect too hard or too long on thoughts and feelings that trigger anger.  This can potentially cause bitterness and rob you of joy.  Find a healthy way to cope with your anger.  And remember that forgiveness can provide relief, whether or not the person you’re in conflict with has apologized.


Wit isn’t most peoples’ natural response to anger.  But non-sarcastic humor can reduce the tension.

Try a Relaxation Exercise.

Examples might include deep breathing, listening to calming music, or creative writing.

Get help when you need it.

If anger is impacting your relationships or your day-to-day functioning, take additional steps to get the help you need.  Consider speaking with someone like a professional counselor or faith leader.

Believe it or not, managing anger in a positive way during this pregnancy could lead to deeper and healthier relationships.  Not to mention greater self-awareness!  At Avenue Women’s Center, we’d love to help you find purpose in this situation and move toward your own best pregnancy decision.  Our services include assistance with resources and referrals.  If you need support from a professional counselor, we can help you connect with the right person.

Schedule a visit to one of our six Chicagoland, Illinois limited medical clinics!  Same-day appointments are often available!



Mayo Clinic.  (2022, April).  Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper.  Retrieved from:

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.