If a friend of yours has asked for your help during an unexpected pregnancy, that speaks to the friend and person that you are. Clearly, she trusts you with this sensitive information and values your support, probably because you’ve been a loyal friend to her through other difficult times. Maybe she’s specifically asked for your help finding an abortion provider. Many people wouldn’t think twice about coming alongside a friend in these efforts. But for some individuals, this is a more complex matter.
Maybe you’re not sure that you feel comfortable helping your friend get an abortion. You undoubtedly care about her and have a strong desire to support her. It’s possible that you’re even feeling guilty about having these reservations. Know that you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s possible to maintain your own best boundaries and provide genuine care to your friend at the same time.
Consider telling your friend about Avenue Women’s Center. We’re a first-step clinic with multiple locations in Chicagoland, offering free and confidential early pregnancy support. Our services include medical-grade pregnancy tests, options consultations, and limited medical ultrasounds. We’re here to meet your friend with unconditional compassion and help her learn about all her available options, so she can make a knowledgeable pregnancy decision with confidence.
Check us out! We’ve been partnering with pregnant individuals and their supporters for over 40 years, and we’re as passionate as ever about empowering them to thrive.
A Tough Position to Navigate
If your friend has asked for your help finding an abortion provider, and you’re not fully on board, this puts you in a challenging position. It’s no easy feat providing tangible help to a friend while, 1) supporting her autonomy over her decision-making process, 2) avoiding judgment or the perception of judgment, and 3) navigating this in a way that doesn’t compromise your own feelings and beliefs. That’s a lot to balance! Maybe you’re questioning whether it would be wrong or judgmental of you to share your hesitation to help her in the specific way that she’s asking. The short answer to this question is, “no.” But if this kind of conversation is needed, it’s critical to approach her with unconditional kindness and respect. Be sincere and offer alternative ways of supporting her. If she finds your response off-putting, empathize with her and give her space to process.
Finding a Healthy Approach
There are ways you can truly support your friend while respecting your own boundaries and leaving the pregnancy decision fully in her hands. A good approach could be sitting beside her while she reaches out to abortion clinics, doctors, pregnancy centers, and other resources (if she consents to this, of course). This would allow her to hear directly from service providers while having you there for emotional support. You could offer to hold her hand, pose questions to ask, and process these conversations with her afterward. Encourage her in her unique personal strengths as well. Just being present and reliable for someone in a difficult time can make a world of difference.
For more tips on navigating the pregnancy decision-making process with a friend, check out some of our other blogs!
How Do I Support My Friend Experiencing an Unexpected Pregnancy?
“I’m the Only One Who Knows About My Friend’s Unexpected Pregnancy”
Avenue’s expert team is passionate about empowering women in their pregnancy decisions. Our role is to meet your friend and other women facing similar circumstances with warmth and compassion, equipping them with the resources they need to make their own best choices. We’d love to be an advocate and sounding board for your friend as she navigates this journey, and for you as you navigate it by her side.
Contact us to speak with a caring staff member and learn more about our services!
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.