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Unexpectedly Pregnant: “Our Two Families Aren’t on the Same Page”

Are you facing an unintended pregnancy with a partner, and feeling torn between the opinions expressed by members of your two families?  When it comes to an unexpected pregnancy, there are a lot of factors to potentially disagree on.  Maybe your family and your partner’s have different overall feelings about the pregnancy itself, hold different views concerning pregnancy options, and have different hopes for your pregnancy choice and future.  These dynamics may be causing major tension within your family circle and your relationship with your partner.  Although this may be a difficult road to navigate, know that it’s possible to reach a pregnancy outcome you feel at peace with.

Your circumstances may be confusing, overwhelming, and frustrating all at once.  Avenue Women’s Center exists to help women and couples access the clarity and support they need during this season of life that probably feels vulnerable.  We provide early pregnancy services at no cost, equipping persons to face an unexpected pregnancy with courage, confidence, and an informed perspective. 

Contact Avenue to learn more! We’ve been engaging in this important work since 1981, so we’ve walked beside many individuals coping with similar dynamics.  We’re in your corner!

Concerning the Pregnancy Decision-Making Process

If you are the pregnant person in your relationship, a pregnancy decision (for abortion, adoption, or parenting) ultimately falls into your hands.  This may seem obvious.  But it can be a helpful reminder as you explore a healthy motivation for your pregnancy choice.  Consider paying careful attention to your values, beliefs, hopes, and gut instincts while learning about your pregnancy options.  These can help guide your way to the outcome that’s right for you.  Maybe you’ll choose to invite your partner and loved ones into this process.  That’s often a healthy approach.  But if you allow your decision to be driven by the emotions and opinions of others (including your family members and your partner’s), you’ll be more likely to misunderstand which pregnancy option marks your best path forward.

Concerning Your Relationships

Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that differences of opinion between two families can be difficult to navigate, even when the stakes aren’t so high.  These pregnancy circumstances may be affecting your relationships with your family members and your partner’s family members, not to mention your rapport with your partner.  The two of you probably feel like you’ve been placed in a really awkward position.  Each of you has been influenced by your own family, with its distinctive family culture and belief system.  There may be a part of you that still wants to please your parents and other loved ones.  But you’ve also formed a new relationship with your partner. And both of you will need to navigate the challenges of life in your own unique way.

That being said, it may be wise to have a heart-to-heart with your partner about the family dynamics at play.  Consider opening an honest, respectful dialogue about this pregnancy if you haven’t done so already and if you feel comfortable going to him.  Communication is key to a healthy relationship, especially when there’s potential for conflict between your respective families.  Consider confiding in a family member as well, especially if they would be respectful and supportive.  Remember, your family can support you, even if they don’t support the pregnancy option(s) you’re leaning toward.

For help navigating pregnancy conversations with partners and family members, check out some of our other blogs!

Helpful Communication Tools When Sharing Pregnancy News

“I Don’t Know How to Tell My Parents About an Unexpected Pregnancy”

“How Do I Tell My Partner I’m Pregnant?”

At Avenue Women’s Center, it’s our mission to provide practical and emotional support, so you feel equipped to process your pregnancy decision with care and find your own best path.  Our free first-step pregnancy services include medical-grade pregnancy tests, limited medical ultrasounds, and pregnancy consultations.  Every woman should have information on what is happening in her body and what options are available to her.  Avenue’s purpose is to offer that critical information.  And we do so with a posture of genuine compassion and respect.  This is a safe space, free of judgment or pressure.

Learn more about our services and schedule a visit!  We have six limited medical clinics in Chicagoland, Illinois.

The information provided here is general in nature.  It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center.  If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention.  Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.