If you’ve experienced an unexpected pregnancy or if you’re close to someone who has, you probably know firsthand how complex these circumstances can sometimes be. But what if you’re facing this situation without knowing who the father is (your partner, or somebody else)? You may be overwhelmed in a way that words can’t even describe if that’s the case. Chances are, your feelings and circumstances surrounding the relationship are somewhat complicated. The matter of who fathered this pregnancy is bound to be very sensitive for both you and your significant other (if you choose to tell him), regardless of the nature of your partnership. How’s a person to know which pregnancy option is best under these stressful and confusing conditions?
It’s important to navigate any unexpected pregnancy situation with care and wisdom. Your own pregnancy journey may require some extra caution and sensitivity. Still, it’s possible to make a pregnancy decision you can feel good about- even under the messiest of circumstances. Avenue Women’s Center is here to help you move forward with clarity of mind and all the information you need to take confident next steps. We’ve been providing no-cost, high-quality pregnancy support for over 40 years. We’ve walked beside women through all kinds of unique situations. We’d love to be a part of your support network too.
Discover our free and confidential first-step pregnancy services at Avenue!
Two Burning Questions
Without a doubt, one of the burning questions you’re wrestling with is, “Should I tell my partner he might not be the dad?” This difficult question must be preceded by another: “Should I tell him about the pregnancy at all?” Only you can determine which answers are right for you. Your best next steps will depend on your unique situation, relationship, support system, etc. Generally speaking, “honesty is the best policy.” You would probably want to know the truth if the roles were reversed, however painful it may be to hear (especially if parenting was on the table). If your significant other doesn’t know about your other sexual partner(s), and you choose not to tell him, you may find that you’re digging yourself into a deeper hole of secrecy. This can widen the gap of physical and emotional intimacy between two partners even more than the fallout of coming clean. It may also cause intense feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Navigating the Hardest Pregnancy Situations with Your Partner
If you decide to have a transparent conversation with your partner, there are steps you can take to approach the most difficult topics with wisdom and care. It’s often best to keep it simple and straightforward when sharing hard news. Give your partner plenty of space to absorb, ask questions, and react. Expect painful emotions to surface (both from him and from within) and a long healing process. Consider reading some of our other blogs for tips on navigating difficult pregnancy conversations and situations that involve a third sexual partner.
Helpful Communication Tools When Sharing Pregnancy News
“How Do I Tell My Partner I’m Pregnant?”
“Considering Abortion Because I Feel Bad that I Cheated”
“Depending on the Father, I Might Consider Abortion”
*There are situations when it’s important to take extra precautions, like having a trusted friend with you when you share your pregnancy news, or giving your partner extra time and physical space. There may also be situations when it’s not safe or appropriate to share sensitive news with your partner at all.
*If you believe that your physical safety or someone else’s is at risk, call 911 immediately. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline if you think you may be in an abusive relationship. The Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7.
Paternity Testing
Chances are, one of the most challenging aspects of your situation is not knowing whether your partner fathered the pregnancy, or somebody else. This missing information is extremely relevant, and the uncertainty has likely triggered a lot of excess anxiety for you. Knowing the paternity will probably impact how you choose to approach your partner with this news as well. It may bring you some relief to learn that paternity testing is available and highly accurate just a short time into a pregnancy. If you’re interested in finding out who the father is, check out our blog, How Does Paternity Testing Work?
*Paternity testing is not a service that Avenue Women’s Center provides, although we’re here to talk if you’re considering paternity testing. Our aim is to help women get baseline information about their pregnancies, options, and resources, so they’re equipped to make the most knowledgeable decisions possible.
Your feelings about your situation and relationship are sure to be complicated. Your emotions surrounding your pregnancy and options (abortion, adoption, and parenting) probably are too. At Avenue, we encourage women to take their circumstances one step at a time, because navigating an overwhelming situation in bite-sized pieces can make it feel a lot more manageable. Our caring staff is here for you as you venture forward. Your concerns about the paternity of your pregnancy don’t have to drive your decision-making process. It’s possible to discover which option is truly best for you and step into a positive outcome, no matter what you’re facing.
Your next best steps will involve taking an accurate pregnancy test and learning about the pregnancy options available to you. Contact Avenue today to begin that journey!
The information provided here is general in nature. It is not a substitute for a consultation with a medical professional. Before any medical procedure, it is imperative that you discuss your personal medical history, risks, and concerns with your doctor. If you have questions during or after a procedure, your doctor should be immediately contacted. Avenue Women’s Center is not an emergency center. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, such as bleeding and/or pain, seek immediate medical attention. Contact your physician, go to an emergency room, or call 911.